Judge — September 20, 1890 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE HUM OF THE COURT. FLIES, and therefore there are no flies on time. T™ THE riage. MAN who does the most walking is the man who keeps his car- ‘The man who most rides is the one who hires his conveyance. FE JUDGE from some recent political returns that the Democrats are using up so much of their surplus they won't have any for ‘92. 46] OOK AT your one- hundred-dollar bills,” says the editor of a counter- feit-detector. Thank you, sir —thank you kindly. Just as soon as possible. RS. LANGTRY is un- settled, but it is an- nounced that her theatrical plans are convalescent —we believe those are the very words of the cablegrams. p But. DALY (as Ais horse is announced a winner) — N You're the ickey! you're the boy! I've got a hundred-dollar not my pocket TIS current opinion that Congressman Cannon had better shoot off his head rather than his mouth, and if he might use noiseless pow= der so much the better. THERE ARE two popular s eng ide stories, One is that every girl cd herself to six men, and the other that every marriageable man in the country went to the mountains. T IS a fine suggestion of the Pittsburg Despatch that somebody fur- | nish an opera based on the foolish quarreling of Gilbert and Sulli- van and the poverty that is likely to be the result of it. ‘é out a Sentence with two hundred id when it was ended he called out in Where now is William Evarts?” and fourteen words in it a weak but triumphant voi KATE FIELD says her paper is “the paper that uses the big 1.” There have been personal pronouns that have crushed their pos- s, but perhaps this one has some regard for the weaker sex. ESTIMATED that two hundred and fifty millions of the world’s popu- lation go naked, If we had known that we should have joined a y long since, if it had taken the shirt off our bacl ‘THE CLAIM of Noah as the builder of the ark secure? the Rochester /feral asks ¢ heard of the spin- ster who claims to be the original Eve it strikes us that no reputation Well, since we hi IS so much talk about the right of woman to earn her own one forgets the gratifying fact that she has had it for the last ten years. ‘The question now is, whether she has the right to earn the living of her husband A COMMUNIC. ON by medium from the late Mr. Kemmler s that gentleman died at the first shock. Now let the tax-payers recover from the shock of the half-million dollars necessary to kill him ncluding-the legal profession, will be happy. also, E. JUDGE from repeated allusions to it, probably unpaid for, that the fortune of a superannuated showman is the greatest show on earth. At last accounts it exceeded the national debt and was calling on the bank of another world for interest at three per cent. S. STANTON of Pennsylvania, who lives at the age of one hundred and fifteen, has never used tobacco or liquor. It may be well to live a couple of centuries; but there is that sadness in the changes that leave one behind that is not pleasing—though it may be miserably healthy. DISPATCH from Logansport, Ind., tells of a young man who choked a young woman because, as he said, she had insulted him, The dispatch says the young man is insane, but there are so many young women who are doing queer things just now that we dunno—we dunno, JUDGE in Indianapolis decides that a man arrested in a saloon at one o'clock in the morning for “drunkenness in a public place” cannot be held, because at that time the public is pretty generally at home and therefore the place is not a public place. Good Justice Dog- berry! how the world has grown since you left it. SOV HITHER Ocean. are we drifting?” solemnly asks the Chicago Jater- We have considered that question with ever-increasing solemnity every day for fifty years. Now we are reckless and mad, and exclaim with extreme force, “Let ‘er drift!” If this universe won't heed our advice it can go south and go down with the population. T COMES like a refreshing breeze from the ‘egions, that good old paragraph in all our exchanges, “The oyster is here.” And how should we ever get along without the sweet rejoinder, the soul of wit and the acme of unctuosity, "Yes, but he will soon be in the soup;” added to which is the solid and undoubted fact, “Not if he is the church-fair oyster.” We never sce these thi without recognizing them regardless of spectacles. They speak to the soul. HE FINDS THEM TOO. seJAYSMITH is a regular anti- quarian, He has been mar- ried three times, and each time to a widow." “How does that show him to be an antiqua ag “Well, he’s a relict-hunter.” —( There has been @ mistake o id the timescard is changed) —" V'm going to keep there, you young whelp !" comicbooks.com