Judge — September 6, 1890 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE THE OLD MELODEON. HEN mother married father, thirty-five shore year ago, “Twuz the days whea dresses sorter sag- ged, they cut'em aout so low: An’ haie wile parted mighty prim an’ looped ‘up on each ear. ‘An’ the men-folks wore long beauty-locks, so thick they couldn't hear; An’ folks wuz mighty keerful then, ez her ‘weddin'-fixins’ show: Every thread wuz spaced an’ counted an’ the ‘stitchin’ set in rows. Wal, amongst ther weddin'- presents this old melodeon stood, All gallus with. its ‘bright rosewood. Ef ye worked the pedal stiddy an’ still con- trived ter play, Sech tunes ez these ‘meandered an’ gently riz iain’ keys an‘ case o° away: “Lord, Lovel an’ “Long, long ago" an’ “Roll on, silver moon” Zs “Hours there were 1° old Tom Moore. une! ‘Them wur the days o' sentiment ai “Old mistletoe-boughs” an’ Buy a broom” an “Jamie's return.” Bat by-an'-by a sorter march come steal’ daown the keys, Mixed up with sad, heart-breakin’ tunes thet sorter went like these: Daown wher’ the’ patriot army,"" wuz the earliest tune thet grew, Dh, Willie, we shall miss y ‘The raged coat o° bl When this cruel war is over” an’ the“ Tramp, tramp, tramp'"— The songs o' lonesome women an’ the shoutin’s 0” the camp; But the sobs an’ groans grew fainter an’ it wuzn't very long By-an'-by—there’s just one tune it’s jest a-achin’ fer ter play, An’ then T guess its music-days is sorter passed away ; Iv brace fer one, more effort like it knew old memories, 2 When the weddin'-march ‘Il echo daown its yeller, wheezy keys. YLORENCE H. PRATT. TAKEN (IN). A PUBLIC-SPIRITED CITIZEN. His EmpLoyer —"' Patrick, I have employed you as a porter for a year, During that time I have found you to be dishonest, neglectful stupid, and cowardly; but I will not discharge you without one chance, ‘Tue roKtER—"For'll I do, sor?” | I've obtained a position for you on the police- A RUPTURE OF FRIENDSHIP. TED wanted (© go to the circus awfully.” abel,” said he, seating himself on a stool and propping his chin in the palms of his hands in front of one of those sis ters who hold in their hands so much more than has been dreamed of in their philosophy, “ Mabel, have you fifty cents “No,” was the discouraging reply of that young Ia haven’t."" “Have you twenty-five?” 2" said Ted, rising in the consciousness of co misplaced, “I thought we were going to be good friends!” HE SANG THE OLD SONGS. Gagys—"1 like Frankleigh for one thing; when he doesn’t know a thing he say Waggs—"1 should think he could talk forever.” CuruperT—* Quick, Myrtle! look unconcerned. is going to snap us.” FOILED AGAIN. AT A seaside-resort hotel. First burglar —" Weill, did you get the jewels of the Chicago woman Second burglar —" No; the hotel proprietor pre- sented his bill just before I got there.” ‘That fellow with the camera THE WISDOM OF YEARS. THE plump tittle oysterlet shivered in fear And cried to its mother ‘*Oh, dear! This world is so big and so bright, my mamma, ‘That I'd like to live out my first year. “Oh, where can I hide to take in all the show, ‘And myself not get ‘took in,’ you know? . Tam juicy and tender, and fear I will be The first of our family to go.” Then the withered old crone gave a wise little grin, ear T've reveled in tin, We'll jump into this can for it goes to the church, And the soup we will never get in.” AMISTINE ANDERSON, He ov Posrx Susbenders, boss? I sells dem sheap.” comicbooks.com