Judge, 1890-07-26 · page 5 of 20
Judge — July 26, 1890 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page collects brief humorous pieces typical of *Judge*'s satirical approach. "Morning in Our Flat" mocks cramped urban apartment living—the cacophony of dumbwaiters, milkmen, crying babies, and neighbors' noise that define tenement existence. "Tottering Upright" appears to reference dialect humor involving African American characters and a hen, common (if offensive) to period magazines. Other items satirize social conventions: a young man insulted when called "Thirty, love" during tennis lessons; a stingy miser whose life can't fill four poetic lines; ethnic humor about a German immigrant ("Schaumberger") attempting to flirt. "Travel in the West" jokes about Kansas cyclones as transportation. "On the Co-Operative Plan" mocks business partnerships through a "trunk-maker" destroying goods. The cartoons and verse collectively lampoon modern urban life, romantic courtship, immigrant behavior, and commercial incompetence—standard *Judge* fare for affluent readers.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
MORNING IN OUR FLAT. RZ NY 118 dumb-waiter comes whizzing high, Ne Vells at the speaking-tube, EN The milkman with his scant supply, “The iceman with his cube Intangible. ‘There likewise speaks A voice which tells us that ‘The janitor our ashes seeks— It's morning in our flat, The Nulyweds (so thin the floor) Are parting for the day * That Tucker baby—what a roar, Though it's three flights away ! ‘The man across the three-foot hall Is hunting for his hat With language strange and biblical “Tis morning in our fiat. ‘The scents of many breakfasts do Blithesomely circulate ; We turn the folding-bed back to Its square-piano state And on the sofa-bureau sit. ‘The janitress says “* Seat ! Unto the matin peddler. It Is morning in our flat. TOTTERING UPRIGHT as Goon Deacox WittkFEts—"'Dere’s one ob Brer Meeker's brammy hens a-comin’ in A REBUFF. a’ do’. = : = Mrs. t3—"* Les be hones’ en shoo her out.” Maddox (meeting Gazzam) —* Good-morning ! De. Hol’ on, chile, hol’ on! She iooks kinder anxious, like she was czam (heading him offy—"No; 1 haven't used FROM JONES’S NOTE-BOOK. POLITE man should be polite to all women— even to his wife. ON A MISER. OUR lives are writ in poetry, Some blank verse Others in rhyming cadence, merry song Hut one I know, of overflowing purse, Would scarcely make a stanza four lines long. TRAVEL IN THE WEST. Nebraska farmer —" Nellic, didn’t | hear you say you wanted to go over into Kansas on a visit?” Daughter —"Yes, pa.” Nebraska farmer —" Well, hurry up and get your valise packed. ‘There’s a cyclone due in a half-hour that'll take you over.” MISUNDERSTOOD HIM. Miss pe SaitH —"* Our engagement is broken from this moment, Mr. Roberts." Mr. Rosexts—" Why, I've done nothing, have 17" Miss pe Swit uu have. You promised to teach me lawn-tennis, and the first thing you do is to call me ‘ Thirty, love and I not a day over seventeen, and you know it.” TWO EVILS. SOWELL. young man,” said the irate parent, “if you persist in your present course you will sup sorrow with a spoon.” T don’t know whether that can be wor ice-cream with a fork,” returned the profliga tried that.” LINES ON A CURL. A CURE that I shall ne'er forget Till mind and memory fail Is not the curl of the maid I love But the curl of my pug-dog’s tail eKINDNE! BY PROXY. . KI So BN: a ON THE CO-OPERATIVE PLAN, Schaumberger (sitting, tries to “ mash" pretty shop-girl ae cates % ae ie ers standing up in'"L~)—*Py gracious! if mein poy, Moses vas THE TRAVELER —" Why is everything broken? Has there been a railway accident?” es THE Bal -SMASHER—"'Oh, no, I've just gone into partnership with my brother, here I vould make him gief you his sead preddy quick the trunk-maker over the way. comicbooks.com