Judge — July 19, 1890 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

232 HUM OF THE COURT. IR EDWIN ARNOLD gets one hundred thousand dol- lars for his latest poem, of six thousand lines. Those be large figures, but those be large lines. + *P)ID ANY pale-face ever see a bald-headed Apa- che 2” asks the Albany Journal. Perhaps not; but a few Sioux have, and they have the hair to show for it. 4¢]S THERE any use for old towels?” asks a household writer. Oh, yes. You cut out the middle and throw that and the remnants away, and there's your sea-side wiper. THE COLLEGES have neg- lected John L. Sullivan, Since his contribution to. the depleted exchequer of Missis- s.rpi they ought to have made him doctor of laws at least. G0 AWAY from me, Sara Bernhardt! 1 have one woman who is mine by right, and if you try to abduct me I'll shoot you with a gun.—H, M, Stanley. AS TO HL Mrs. ry is latterly the most successful actress out of the field, Let us hope that she won't get so ill as to oblige her managers to resort to the daily bulletin. NEWSPAPER CaLter—"'Is the e: BRIGHT oFFICE-Boy — jor in?” 6 NO PRINCE or princess,” says a writer, “has a right to fall in love.” That is true, and therefore the ordinary boys and girls are kings and queens in comparison with them, regardless of their number of divorces. CHRISTINE NILSSON, they say, is hopelessly involved in gambling, and is rapidly nearing poverty because thereof. Lay that to her dead husband. ‘The poor old girl never would have thought of it but for his example. UT WEST is a woman's association called the Womedaughsis. It is apparently the shortest method of saying women, daughters and sisters. It has just been started, and the name may not be able to kill it in three weeks A WOMAN'S CLUB in London is so successful that it has provided a separate room for smokers. Out of respect for the club it must be admitted that most of the smokers are men; but we are also obliged to admit that the smoking-room is crowded while all of the other rooms are empty. NEBRAS Proprietor —"* See that sign?” Soccen WitttaM—"' Yes. S'pose I'm blind ?* Proprietor —"“Ain't you goin’ ' stop 7 Soccep WiLLiAM—"'No. I'm hungry. , he's out; but the foreman’s more'n made up fer it. He caught Castaway yesterday at fifteen t” one.” SIONS for boys. injured by fire-crackers are advised by the Buffalo Express. That is satire; but when there are no boys to celebrate the fourth of July the country might as well be sold to an English syndicate. A PROFESSOR fixes the time of Joshua's long day, but hesitates as to its length. That is a wise as well as a learned professor, Miracles and facts antagonize each other so much that we wonder both were not knocked in the head years ago. TIS DIFFICULT for writers of watering place letters to say anything new, and perhaps that is the reason they don't; but the pictures of no-dressed and half-dressed women that accompany these documents have a number of guite original ideas. . OTHE HEAVENS may now be expected to fall,” says the Boston /erald. We forget the reason fui the expectation; but when a mugwump paper says such Wigginsish things the heavens may be expected to remain, like Mr. Cleveland’s soil, in their place. A GRAPE-GROWER of California wants to be represented ac the world’s fair with a column of wine fifty feet high. As the late Mr. Webster sight remark, the liberty of a country is safe when 2 single grape-growing citizen of it can erect a column of wine fifty feet high. PERSONALITY. HE MAYOR of Cincinnati, which is the home of music, tried to address a few hundred ballet-girls who had struck, and when he got his hat back—the same having been kicked—he said he not only didn’t know where he got it, but what in the name of the rose of Sharon he was going to do with it, HE THEOLOGIAN of the Utica Observer says St. Paul is in the soup. Paul was a radical in his views, and we do think he was vicious and short-sighted as to the bringing up of children and the pr leges of women; but such references to inim are highly indecorous—and false as well, because they do not have soup over there. . STHE BACHELOR GIRL" is one of the latest of the novels of Wil- liam Hosea Ballou. This girl has a horse killed by lightning in Central park, and the result is that the girl is yanked into a William Hosea Balloun five miles high. Mr. Ballou is proficient in large lies. We hope he will drag the anchor of his imagination some day sufficiently to catch a little one, A HOSPITAL! THe prorrietoR—"* That makes the fourth to-day.” comicbooks.com