Judge — July 19, 1890 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE If this iz Josh ‘Tew be agreeable iz tew be easily pleazed. so how easy and pleazant it iz tew be agreeabl Billings, “Avoid whisky and water, my son," said the fond father. ‘It is a dilution and a snare."—/amilton Spectator, When Baby was sick, we gave her Castoria. When she was a Child, she cried for Castoria. When she became Miss, she clung to Castoria When she had Children, she gave them Castoria The strangest thing about buying a man's silence is that you are not sure you have it unless you pay him to keep it.—Elmira Gazette, At the loan exhibition—AMiss R, Tistique—"* Oh, what a perfectly lovely pitcher!" Miss Ethel Lettie— “Isn't it, though? Just get on to its curves !"— Terre Haute Express. Mrs, Winstow's Sootitina Syrup for Children Teething ; soothes the child, softens the gums, allays all pain, cures wind colic and diarrhaa. "25 cents a bottle. “Huh !" remarked a little girl after the census enu- merator had finished his questions, “that didn’t hurt much.” It will probably hurt worse in thirty years from now.—Dansville Breeze, Patti has lost her voice." Second report—"* Patti has not lost her voice.” Third report —"'It is stated on excellent authority that Patti's vcice is entirely gone.” Fourth report—"* ‘The statement that Patti's voice is gone proves to be absolutely false She has suffered from merely a slight cold.” At this point we are informed that the remainder of this article must be received over the counter in the business office at usual rates.— Washington Post, First cport — Prickly Heat, Chafing, Sunburn, Mosquito-bites and Irritations of the Skin from various causes are speedily relieved by use of Packer’s Tar Soap, the Ideal for Toilet, Bath, Shampoo and Nursery. 25 Cents. All Druggists. “The Marquis” mer. Made up in black, brown and a light color, on the order strated circular prices, etc. of Gentlemen's Hats mailed {ree on application, N. ESPENSCHEID, New York City, N. Y. Established nearly half a century in the same locality, THE CELEBRATED stirs wo bentpuarnd roe by Leading Artists, Warerooms, 149, 151, 153, 155 East 14th St., W.Y. SOHMER & CO. Tis. a36 State Street; Saw Fuaxciscy, Cat, Union Glub Building; ‘Sr. Louis, Mo, as2a Olive Street ; Kansas Grry, Mo., 1133 Main Street RICE ‘WBARKER tRov.ny, 25° “Play ball!" shouted the umpire. ‘“Aw, what's de use o' tellin’ ‘em dat?" said a Aabitud of the bleaching boards.‘ Dey can't."— Washington Post, A newspapet article on “‘tiow 10. , prevent war going the rounds. You may think ‘ Remain single” is the answer, but it isn't.— Whiteside Herald, “* Throw physic to the dogs,” and use Angostura Bit ters for good digestion and a healthy appetite. Sole M'frs, Dr. J.G. B. Siegert & Sons, Ask your druggist. Mamma—* Good-bye, dearie ; what shall I buy for my little girl? Helen—"* Some bunions, please, so I can tell when the weather is going to change."—Har- per's Young People Roger Q. Mills—"*1 guess the peach crop is an utter failure this year." Senator Carlisle—" Well, that's what the country gets for keeping the protection party in power,"—Jnier-Ocean. Census-taker —"* How old are you, madam?" Madam —"T've seen twenty-five summers.” Census-taker— How did you come to miss the other fifteen or twenty?"—Binghamion Leader, THE KAISER'S FAVORITE Champagne is ‘Cabinet Sekt.” of Kloss & Foerster, Freyburg. Thomsen & Co., 87 Wall st., sole agents. Citizen enlist Indi: point: dance. “What do you think of the proposition to s into the regular army?" Capiain West. ndians? ‘Pon honnah! Why, they cawn’t New York Weekly, “1am hungry,” pleaded the poor actor on the Rialto. “In the words of Shakespeare,” quoth his brother tra- gedian, producing a dime with infinite grace, "* Go; get thee toa bunnery.”—Wew York Herald. A Georgia editor apologizes for the scarcity of local news in his paper and says, ‘* We will have plenty of news pext week, as we have taken a census contract, and we are on the inside track of every citizen in the coun- try, The Sohmer Piano is so honestly made that continu- ous severe use will not impair its splendid qualities of tone and action, ‘The seaside landlord smiles with glee, ‘And as he rubs his hands He says, ** My profits ought to be ‘As countless as the sands, —Detroit Sun, Thank heaven !" said Shakespeare's ghost ; ‘' thank heaven and bless'd be the cyclone.” ‘* Why so grateful, William?" asked the spook of Queen Elizabeth." Be- cause, me liegess, the paper says the cyclone destroyed several Hamlets."—New York Herald. THE NEW HOLLENDEN, of Cleveland, Ohio, is the most magniticent hotel in’ the west. American and European plans. “ Harold,” said the sweet girl, ‘shall I read to you my graduating essay for to-morrow?’ “Yes, “arling,”” replied the young man, pale but calm.“ It—if any- thing should happen to me,” he added in a hoarse, husky whisper, “remember, Maud, my last thoughts were of you!"—Chicago Tribune. os Se Noes sere First summer girl (wearily) —""1 must say Iw were in sheol to-night.” | Second summer girl—"' Why, for heaven's sake?” First summer girl—" so many men there."— The Bostonian, Miss Au Fait—"And we saw } Anglomaniac—"* Weally? Fwom which side?’ Miss Au Fait—' From the American side.” Chappy (aside) —"‘How vewy vulgah !"—Latorence American. Boker's Bitters since 1828 acknowledged to be by far the best and finest Stomach Hitters made, whether taken pure or with wines or liquors AND OTHER CONDIALS, Wife (delighted) —"* What ! home through the sum- mer shower?” But where did you get that lovely piece of ice?" Husband (exultingly)—" It's a hailstone which just fell in our front yard, and we can pay off our mortgage with it." —Chicago Times, Triedout—"* Didn't you have some personal difficulty with Bigelow?" Stideout—"* Yes.” Triedout—" How did you fix it?” Stideout—*Oh, I got revenge.” Triedout—" How?" Slideout—* Gave his address to a book-agent."—St, Paul Pioneer Press. NEW KODAKS “You press . the button, we do the rest.” Seven New Styles and Sizes. Transparent_Films. For sale by all Photo. Stock Dealers. THE EASTMAN COMPANY, Send for Catalogue, Rochester, N.Y. 6(~ Everyone SHavinc IS A DELIGHT WHO USES COUG AES) SHAVING SOAP For sample send 2 cts. box 645, New York. VERY BEST ALL-TOBACCO CIGARETTES On the Market. SMOKE XO OTHER Consolidated Cigarette | oe | Pome ar’ | ORCHID FLOWER (REGISTERED). use SEELY'S ORCHID FLOWER; odors of these aristocratic flowers. ASK YOUR DEALER FOR IT DETROIT, Would you fully satisfy the requirements of a refined taste for exquisite perfumes, they are delightful reproductions of the STANHOPEA, VANDA, GALEANDRA, MILTONIA, ANGULOA, CALANTHE, 1-ounce Bottles, 75cts. 2-ounce Bottles, $1.50. If not to be obtained of your druggist, we will send by mail, postpaid, on receipt of price. Sold also by the pound to the drug trade. SEELY MANUFACTURING CO SOLE PROPRIETORS OF ORCHID PERFUMES, ICH. PERFUMES. —See Cut,