Judge — July 19, 1890 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE THE OLD BRIDGE RAIL. OSH ¢' goodness! hain't it fun Goodness! what a lot we talk; When the yaller of the sun An’ we watch the lovers wali Turns to purple in the west, "Mong the willers clost beside When the da'ry milkin’s dun Rushes where the brushes balk ‘An’ we all can take a rest? Into foam the river's tide. There's the rail with notches cut That old rail above the gut Jist above the river's gut, If "t could speak a story ‘d put Where the eddies circle round— Into words to make you smile ; Primest place for fishin'-ground. For it’s held for years a pile Half a dozen leanin’ there, Of the farmer folks when sun Elbow clost to elbow wear— Turns its yaller in the west °G'inst the same old cedar rail, _ Toto purple an’ is dun— ‘Watchin’ boys a-pullin’ eels— When the folks cum down to rest. Silver grubs they never fail NS. KRELEH Catchin’ on to fishes’ meals. CARRIED IT TO EXTREMES. ONES and his wife had just returned from the theatre. Stumbling around the room, he had lighted three matches in the apparently vain ef- fort to find something, * “What have you lost, my dear?” asked his better-half. “A match; I thought I dropped one as we went out. Ah! here it is; there's noth- ; ing like being saving in small things.” THE CHICAGO-FAIR PARASOL; ALA KIFFEL TOWER, HIS DAILY ALLOWANCE. Tailor (to impecunious man just married to a wealthy girl) —" Will you have a money- THE IDENTITY COMPLETE. pocket inside your vest, Mr. Smallart?” a GRANGE. Smallart - —n—no, but you may make a pocket in my coat just large enough Auditor —"1 would like to speak with Robert to hold fifteen cents. Browning.” HE RAILROADS THEM TO MATRIMONY. Spirit medium (ten minutes later) —" Mr. Brown- ing has just been seen, but the angel could not under- stand what he said.” Auditor —" How like Bob!" SOUND ADVICE. . y™M TERRIBLY embarrassed; my eldest son is just nineteen and I haven't the slightest idea what I shall make of him.” “Doesn't he show an inclination for any particular vocation?” “Well, he seems fond of travelins: —going about, you know.” “T've got it; make him a—a"- “A what?” “Why, ab: First clergyman —*It seems to me 1 never have any marriage ceremonies to perform except in the fall.” : Second clergyman —* Then you are a sort of autumn-atic coupler.” AT FAULT ON LOCALITY. uy “poe FORS oJ c Zz o > k cashier,” HARD TO PLEASE. THE maid you love your bosom wrings If slender be your hoard ; She always seems to like the things not well afford, You WHAT TO EXPECT. Gabriel (placing his trumpet to Feel kind of weak, don't you?" Dr. Hautin—" Just let me rub a little of this on your his lips)—** Toot! too ing fits, see?” Fm. Mr. Holman (rising sud = Dr, BuNcd—" I'll treat the other with a litle of the 4 th Heer eating intiteny) “1 object! king's own revivifier.” Subject to tre You've hit it. MY RIVAL, hug yourself for joy | SAW ‘The time you cut me out, yBUNCS fll HALLO 4 Li} i =a You little thinking then, my boy, ‘The laugh would turn about. TWO ’S COMPANY. oy Parae remarked the sen tor's daughter, looking at the clock. “What is it, Lou?” asked pa- pa, who had lingered in the parlor with the young people “It is nine o'clock. At this time George and I usually go into executive session.” Then papa retired, WIEN siaing on the rail Oh, never close your peepers !=- § bale TIENT —" You fellers got hold of me so quic you must remember Cutorvs—"' Fen dollars apiece, please.” I forgot ¢ tell yer that all that weakness an’ tremblin’ was The train runs over sleepers. in my legs.” comicbooks.com