Judge — July 5, 1890 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE THE THREE BACHELORS. HREE bachelors slept in their shuttered room— In their shuttered room when the sun shone high ; Not one of them felt he must rise till noon Or take his breakfast till by-and-by ; For single men may happily sleep— A pillow is good and breakfast will keep Till ten o'clock in the morning. ‘Three fair maids smiled on these bachelors three— On these bachelors three when they came to town They waltzed, they sang, they made high tea And had their accomplishments quickly known For it matters not if bachelors sleep, ~ ‘The maids are awake quite soon in the week, And sometimes rise in the morning. ‘Three married men jumped when the sun arose, And left their pillows in swift dismay ; They felt for their boots, they grabbed their clothes, And thoroughly realized it was day For women will never let men sleep When there's breakfast to get and a wash for the week, ‘Though it's five o'clock in the morning. Linnie ADAMS TURNER, = QUARTERS KER—"'T hef a cinder in mein eye !” Keep it there, won't you? When you gives me a chance to draw my breath.” SHOOT QUIETLY. &¢] KNOW a good order for Independence day.” What is it?” “No shooting aloud.” HOT SHOT. Jim —" Does your finger hurt?” Tim (who has just shot himself in the thumb) “That's what I call a burning question.” THE PATRIOTIC SMALL BOY. HIS TROUBLES now are all forgot And only pleasure lingers, Il he forgets the cracker hot, And thereby burns his fingers. A TIMELY HINT. Clara (11 p.m.)—"Do you know why you are like an old fire-cracker, Mr, Crawl?” Crawl—" No; tell me.” Clara —" It's about time you went off!” A SUBSTITUTE. Fraxk—" Why, you wouldn't kiss that ugly dog? I'm surprised !" Mavp—"Oh, I can't help it, you know. He looks so much like the Count de Grus whom papa wouldn't buy for me when we were in Europe.” EASILY ACCOUNTED FOR. L," remarked the fourth of July to the fifth, “1 went off all right.” That's because everybody knew you were loaded,” replied the fifth. WHERE IGNORANCE WAS BLISS. Mrs, Brown—"Do you see any fun watéhing that goat and the tomato-can ?” - Little Johnny —" There'll be plenty of it as soon as the cracker goes off.” A NATURAL MISTAKE. Pat—"Thet youngster o' yourn is smoking, mum.” Mrs. Brown—*Good gracious! You must be mis- ANUUEPER (COT: taken.” m sony, iin = Gilead oot aie ‘ Grimrsey —"* Now, Castaway, when I _ Pat—"No, mum; Oi saw him wid a rid cigarette in counts tree, you chucks up der cake, See? eit: his hand, an’ the sparks wuz comin’ out o' it loike sixty!” One, two"— comicbooks.com