Judge — June 28, 1890 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE 191 CARL PRETZEL'S PHILOSOPHY. Der shilly Shack Frost he don’d can injoor wild oats. Woomans vas weighed in der balance und vas found wanting—wanting a new bonnet. Goot pleasant vords vas looking yoost der same like der leedle rain-trobs vat fall der ground down, Dhey vas shteal softly down, like der deuce, mitout eny difooculdy, but no feller could told how high ub vas dheir beneficialnesses. When Raby was sick, we gave her Castorta, When she was a Child, she cried for Castoria. When she became Miss, she clung to Castoria. When she had Children, she gave them Castoria A teackettle can sing when it is merely filled water, But man, proud man, is no tea-kettle.— Terre Haute Express, PERSONAL. Rosina and Lorenzo Tomaselli are at Fort William Henry hotel, Lake George, New York. It cannot be true that the good die young ; otherwise some of us would feel called upon to explain why we are staying here so long.—Somervitle Journal, Wixstow's SooTHING SyruP for Children soothes the child, softens the gums, allays . cures wind colic and diarrhoea, "25 cents a ve —"' Officer, you say you saw the prisoner throw sh on the complainant?” Officer —"* Yes, honor; I caught him red-handed in the act."—Bing- hamton Leader, BROTHERS MATCHLESS i PIANOS 33 UNION SQUARE. Lo NEW YORK. HAVE NO SUPERIORS! 100. STRAIGHT ESGRIBANO CIGARS. ere, PROVE THEIR WORTH! Jo terno 1,000, ‘Sample 50 Box. WM. H. OGDEN & CO., BINGHAMTON, N.Y. ASK YOUR DEALER FOR THEM, “The Marquis” A soft bat throughout, combining the Dressy appearance of: the sti hat, with all the comfort of the for- mer. Made up in black, brown and a light color, on the order of a buff or tan, also a dark pearl or grey. Mlustrated circular, prices, etc., of Gentlemen's Hats mailed {ree on application, N. ESPENSCHEID, New York City, N. Y. Established nearly half a century in the same locality. THE WAY TO SLEEPTOWN. ‘The town of Sleeptown is not far, In Timbuctoo or China, For it's right near by in Blinkton county, In the state of Drowsylina ; It's just beyond the Thingumbob hills, Not far from Nodville centre, But you must be drawn thro’ the valley of Yawn, Or the town you cannot enter. And this is the way, ‘They say, they say, ‘That baby goes to Sleeptown ! He starts from the city of Odearme, Thro’ Boohoo street he totters Until he comes to Dontery corners, By the shore of the Sleeping wate Then he comes to the Johnny-jump-up hills ‘And the nodding Toddlebom mountains, And straight does he go thro’ the vale of Heighho, And drink from the drowsy fountains. ‘And this is the way, They say, they say, ‘That baby goes to Sleeptown ! By Twilight path thro’ the Nightcap hills The little feet must toddle ‘Thro’ the dewy gloom of FI By the drowsy peaks of Noddle ; And never a sound does baby hear, For not a leaf does quiver From the Little Dream gap in the hills of Nap To the Snoozequehanna river. And this is the way, ‘They say, they say, ‘That baby goes to Sleeptown | he flies over Bylow bridge, Through Lullaby lane to wander, And on thro’ the groves of Moonshigie vay By the hills of Wayoflyonder ; }, And then does the fairies’ flying tetirse “The sleepy baby take up Until they enter at Jumpoff centre ‘The Peekaboo vale of Wakeup. ‘And this is the way, ‘They say, they say, ‘That baby comes from Sleeptown ! —S.W. Foss in the Yankee Blade. 2 i Boker's Bitters since 1828 acknowledged to be by far the best and finest Stomach Bitters made, whether taken pure or with wines or liquors AND OTHER COMDIAL. “Is the lad well born? how so?" Times, Quite the reverse." "Ah! “His father was a millionaire."— Chicago And still they gazed and still the wonder grew, For the detective really had a clew. ‘New York Press. “Throw physic to the dogs,” and use Angostura Bit- ters for good digestion and a healthy appetite. Sole M'frrs, Dr. J.G. B. Siegert & Sons. Ask your druggist. Who can imagine a more thoroughly miserable human being than the lawyer who is seized with double pleu- risy. Think of it! He can't lie on either sided—Z. mira Gazette, “*A switch is matter,” said the boy ; Tt guides my acts, I find, ‘Tis thus a force my folks employ Of matter over mind.” —Washington Post, HE NEW HOLLENDEN, of Cleveland, Ohio, is the most magnificent hotel in’ the west. American and European plans. bly embarrassed) —‘ Beg pardon, Mrs. Starveham, but I lost my pillow last night !" The land- lady—""Well?" Brown —"M_ you don't object I should like to go out to the hen-house and get another feather !"—American Grocer. Brown (vi THE CELEBRATED PlLawos ‘Are at peesent the Most Popular and Preferred by Leading Artists, Warerooms, 149, 151, 153, 155 East 14th St., N.Y. SOHMER «& CO., Cwicaco, I14., 236 State Street; Saw Francie L Club Building ; Sr. Louts, Mo., 1522 Olive Stree Crry, Mo., 1123 Main Street 1CAG0, ILL TWO MIND-READERS. “ Don’t say a word,” exclaims Bilkins, impressively, ‘as a gaunt, unshaven man enters his office, says Amer- ica, "* Don't speak ; don't utter a syllable. I have ac- uired the gift of mind-reading. A mysterious sympa- thy is established between us. I read your purpose. You have come here to collect Kent & Blunt's little ac- count. Is it not so?” “Ttis, You are quite right,” replied the gaunt, un- shaven one. ‘'I, too, have been a mind-reader in my time. The power is on me now. I know your thoughts. Tcan tell what the speech will be that you are framing even now. You are going to say, ‘1am very sorry, but you will have to call again.’ Am I not right?” Marvelous !" ejaculated Bilkins. “T can go further,” pursued the prophet in a hoarse whisper, ™ You will tell me to come in about the mid- dle of next week ** Miraculous,” cried Bilkins, I can see into your very soul, You will answer, *I have bea coming here for the past two years every week, and it's high time you settled up.’ You astonish me.” Yea, more—you will threaten to bring suit against “Now it is my turn, m . “Just what I was going to say. But I can carry my spiritual communion further. You will say *Sue and be —blanked."” * My dear sir, you are inspired. wealtity “prophet. Then,” continued the gaunt, un- shaven party, “after I give you a little back talk you will waft me gently into the street.” “There is no use fighting against destiny,” respond- ed Bilkins ; and a few moments later, as the gaunt, unshaven mind-reader collected his remains from the sidewalk, he was overheard to remark that the next time be met a physician he would pass by on the other side, You ought to be a THE KAISER'S FAVORITE Champagne is ‘Cabinet Sekt,” of Kloss & Foerster, Freyburg. Thomsen & Co., 87 Wall st., sole agents. 1 LIKE YOU AND I LOVE You. I Like You met I Love You, face to face ; ‘The path was narrow, and they could not pass, I Like You smiled; I Love You cried, ‘*Alas ! And so they halted fora little space. “Turn thou and go before," I Love You said, “Down the green pathway, bright with’ many « flower ; Deep in the valley, lo! my bridal bower Awaits thee.” But [Like You shook his head. Then, while they lingered on the span-wide shelf that shaped a pathway round the rocky ledge, I Like You bared his icy dagger's edge, And first he slew I Love You—then himself, —Oliver Wendell Holmes in Atlantic Monthly. -10— CENTS PACKAGE ‘An all-tobacco, Long Filler Cigarette, the most delicious and wholesome smoke ever offered for the money. CONSOLIDATED CIGARETTE CO. ‘Ave. D and 1oth St., New York, PREMIERE QUALITE CIGARETTE. A SUPERB ARTICLE. The standard of ury, and not a low-priced article. purity and excellence. tobaccos prevents that dryness of the throat usually produced by smoking other brands. prejudice to prevent you from giving this incomparable cigarette a trial, ‘The faultless union of two matchless Do not allow It is simply perfection, and a lux- Our Vanity Fair and other smoking mixtures are the finest for the pipe. 16 First-prize Medals. Wm. S. KIMBALL & Co, comicbooks.com