Judge, 1890-06-14 · page 6 of 16
Judge — June 14, 1890 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several unrelated satirical humor pieces typical of Judge magazine: **"Around the World"** plays on contemporary obsession with record-breaking journeys (likely referencing around-the-world travel races popular in the 1880s-90s). The poem humorously suggests a man's embrace around his sweetheart equals circling the globe. **"Photographing the Baby"** satirizes overly sentimental Victorian mothers who dote excessively on their children. The joke mocks both the mother's inability to recognize her toddler's unintelligible babbling as actual speech and the tedious, multi-hour photography process requiring children to sit still. **"An Impediment to Sport"** uses a brief visual gag: a man complains that hair-restorer ruined his cricket slide (disrupted play), not addressing the actual injury. **"The Reason"** and **"It Was the Cat"** are brief one-liners about social sensitivity and musical performance. The page reflects upper-middle-class Victorian concerns: new technology (photography, travel), sentimental parenting, and genteel social embarrassment.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGE AROUND THE WORLD. ETHEL, let others come-and go, Around the world their journey making ; For steam itself is all too slow To help them now to record-breaking. O'er tide and rail they're madly whirled, Yet seemingly have never reckoned Upon the fact that round the world 7 put a girdle in one second. Thus, dearest, round your dainty waist— A journey brief, delightful, easy My arm is, not too rashly, placed, And you are all the world to me. See? MENRY TYRRELL PHOTOGRAPHING THE BABY. Fond mamma (to her first-born, two years old) —" Won't mamma's tell her Untle Will about having her ‘ittle picture taken to-day Mamma's cherub (energetically) —“ Goo-er-er-pict-er-goo-bo Fond mamma—" Doesn't she tell it straight—the dear ‘ittle gi own mamma's birdie ! Uncle Will Was she good?” Fond mamma—* She was just as good as gold. Untle Will how dood you were The baby —* Goo-goo-cr-boo! Fond mamma —"Can't she talk distinctly? as I can you.” Uncle Will—"You were always a smart girl, Annie.” Fond mamma—"Now you are making fun of me—I know you are; and baby was just as good as she could be, so she was.” Uncle Will—"As good as she could be! That isn’t saying much. Did she cry?” Fond mamma —* Oh, well, she cried just a lit but then she was so cute, After 1 had her all fixed up and she looked as sweet as a peach the man told her to look at the hole—in. the camera, you know—and watch for the little bird to come out.” Uncle Will—" Well, she sat still and looked, did she?” Fond mamma—"Oh, no; she just toddled over to the instrument to see if there really was a bird there. Wasn't it cunning? Baby, tell ‘oor Untle Will about the ‘itle birdie bird.” The baby—" No birdie! Boo-hoo!" Fond mamma (delighted) —" That's just the way she did at the photographer's! Wasn't it cunning ? Unele Will: Very! Then what?” Fond mamma —" Oh, then I comforted her and gave her some candy and got her fixed up again, and she sat just as still until the man had everything ready to pull the slide—or push it, whichever it is—and then she cried for mor y and we had to all over again. Wasn't it cunning? Baby, tell Untle Will about it.” Baby —" Goo-er-er-tandy !" ‘ittle cherub She's her Wasn't ‘00, angel, dear? Tell Why, T can understand her as well Mr. KeNNERKIN (fo Ars. Kennerkin) Fond mamma —" Isn't that sweet?” Uncle Will "Well, did you get the picture taken after all?” Fond mamma—*Of course! But we may have to go again. The operator thought it was a good negative, but we can tell better after he sends us a proof. I expect a proof will come to-morrow, and 1 know it'll be just too sweet for anything.” Uncle Will—"Was it taken by the instantaneous process?” Fond mamma—"Oh, no; it took us over three hours; but baby was just as good as she could be.” wa, M. SIVITRE, AN IMPEDIMENT TO SPORT. Mr, Fy (rho has taken a header) luck to tha: hair-restorer, anyway! It's spoiled our slide. TENDER— VERY! 4 JR: CHUMLEY is a very seni n what way, pray?” “Why, he was calling here the other evening and I told him he looked quite happy, whereupon he blushed and begged my pardon.” THE REASON. Mrs. Gilroy —"1 wonder why Hebrews third day Gilr; prefer the IT WAS THE CAT. Honoria! 1 think you are putting on the loud pedal in these pianissimo passages just to disconcert me.” comicbooks.com