Judge — June 14, 1890 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HUM OF THE COURT. MY GREATEST discovery is the lady I propose to marry.—H. M. Stanley. HE BLAINES are always unfortu- nate. It now appears that they gave great offense to the Democratic pr arranging the details of Miss Blaine’s marriage, ISS TENNANT at first refused to marry Stanley because he dyed his hair. Men are not so particular as that. Henry never objected to a false switch or a deceiving bustle. PLAYING “The Star-spangled Ban- ner” at the close of entertainments will be a great relief in some cases, and in fact it may save many an actor the brokenest of heads. WHEN Senator Ingalls said the puri- fication of politics was an iridescent dream he plagiarized from that Demo- cratic Ohio statesman who said it was a blank barren ideality. GILBERT and Sullivan have had so much quarreling to do that they couldn't create a good opera. ‘The only wonder is that they didn’t make their characters scratch each other's eyes out. SVE WANT our pie for our own use,” says the editor of the New York Commercial. Good, generous soul! You will probably not rise at the resurrec- tion, but you ought at least to have many carriages at the funeral. EARS AGO a woman opened her purse before she got to the b office, and as she immediately died of an attack of mingled convul- sions and astonishment no woman has done it since. THE QUESTION came up in a gathering of ladies the other day, When does a woman cease to love candy?” but as no lady who had died was present there could, of course, be no definite decision. ss in E FIND much hope for the future in the proposition of the Philadel- phia Zimes that the first cake of the young wife shall be used as the corner-stone of the impending domestic mansion. It will kill nobody, used in that way, and it will be more permanent than mere rock. TAKEN TO H:MSELF. Miss Loverr—" What a magnificent creature ! put my arms right around its neck and give it a good hug. Corey (the kennel-hand) —" Barrin’ Oi hov a wile an’ foor childer, yez “d hoy th’ chance an’ welkim, lady." HATZFELDT says he, like another distinguished personage, is not as bad as he is painted; but he must admit that he tries hard to vindicate the art- ist. YOUNG GIRL in Austria fought a duel with a man who had spoken of her with disrespect, and pinked him. The fight was unequal. Had he harmed a hair of her head he would have been execrated and driven out of the country. HE KAISER is a speaker as well as a soldier, and has that belief in the blood of the king which enables him to be first man on every occasion without the slightest hesitation or shock to his mod- esty. He was born to it. Let us hope he will never die of it. Now THAT Cornell's class in journal- ism is dead, why not have a class which shall abolish schools of law, of the ology, and of the various methods of earn- ing money in some practical way? What is the objection, by the way, to a class to teach the student how to make himself rich in Wall street ? R. HIPPLE of Ottawa, Canada, kissed a woman not his wife, and went home. Thinking he had done wrong, he went back to the woman and apologized to her; whereupon her husband sued him and got damages in one hundred and twenty-five dollars. Probably Mr. Hipple will know enough hereafter to omit the apologies. THE CHINAMAN here who attends a Sunday-school, according to an i wants to pick out his own teacher, always selects andsomest lady, and declares that he wants the lady all to himself. s us indignant too; and yet there is something so human about it that it may be gazed at with some little Christian charity. FOUR HOURS after breaking an arm Dr. Amelia B. Edwards appeared and lectured to a western audience, being on time to the very sec- ond of the announcement. It seems coarse, and yet it is complimentary, to remark that the doctor, like the universal person of the rowdy west, will “get there if it takes a”—or rather if it takes her various limbs. Vd like to NON-CONFORMITY OF SIZE. ponies saddled, Mi friend from the and take Mick (af “If you're th’ young gintleman thot's ixpicted at the Glincoves’ J ¢ med th’ mishtake av me life !" comicbooks.com