Judge — June 7, 1890 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

146 JUDGE Doctor —"* Really, madam, if you wish those splitting headaches to stop, You must throw away that spotted veil I see you wear.” Fair patient —"* Pshaw !" Doctor But your eyes will be ruined if you don’t take my advice.” | Fair patient —" Nosh!" Doctor (desperately) Freckles are to be in fashion next summer, I under- stand.” Fair patient (excitedly)—" I'll stop wearing the veil right away, doctor.”—Lavwrence American, He had, ‘tis true, the merit of his wealth, While T owned but my work of hand and brain ; 1 vowed some day I'd high above him rise And pay him richly for his keen disdain It came. For, stopping at the same hotel, Twas above him and I kept aloof— He had his parlors on the second floor, While mine were on the first one—from the roof. —Philadelphia Times. While Hon. Thaddeus Stevens was practicing law at Lancaster, Pa., says Harper's Young People, a boy sidled up to his desk. ‘Take off your hat," Mr. Stevens said, “I ‘ain't got my hat on,” replied the boy. “What do you mean by contradicting me?” demanded Mr. Stevens. "I ain't got my hat on,” persisted the boy: ‘‘it's my brother Joe's hat." "Oh," Mr, Stevens said, as he repressed a smile. |‘ Well, the next time you have an errand here bring Joe with you so that he can take off his hat.” The Soft Glow of The TEA ROSE Is Acquired by Ladies Who Use POZZONI'S MEDICATED COMPLEXION POWDER TRY IT. SOLD EVERYWHERE. Ideal Felt Tooth Polisher. ‘ENDONSED BY LEADING DENTIOTS. NV SSS NON-IRRITATING TO GUMS OR ENAMEL FOR SALE BY ALL DRUGGISTS POKANE Fats: Is the most rapidly growing you: ‘in America, railway center: part AocLoLGI a GRATES, Planeeil Agents Spehase FallnWesblogion. Dank reference, given. COAL: GARFIELD TEA snttcritelsene Froo samples at all drugiste or 319 W. 45th Bt, SS sp cents per t Shes “eg » per acre, worth § Sucements tw new manufacturing enterprises ‘Address PITTSBURG TOWN CO., Pittsburg, Kan. AN ECONOMICAL SMOKE. 100 CICARS FOR $2.25. 25 65c. Warranted HAND: The “HJ. S.” magenta Seed Tobacco, long filler, burns well, n 2 excellence.” Every smoker should order, an ied he will use no other. Send 6s cents fora sample box, aid, ¢ ing 25" H 1S." cigars Weak BU M, O52 Liberty St 27" Agents wanted—in the trade onl ) Pittsburgh, Pa. THE MEN WHO DO NOT LIFT. ‘The world is sympathetic, doubt ; When A’s in trouble don’t we think that I} should help him out? Of course we haven't time ourselves to care for any one, But yet we hope that other folks will see that it is done. We want the grief and penury of earth to be relieved ; We'd have the battles grandly fought, the victories achieved, We do not care to take the lead and stand the brush and brunt ; At lifting we're a failure, but we're splendid on the grunt, Because a man who hawks eggs through the street hawks hawks’ eggs too, it does not nevessarily follow that a man who hawks hawks, hawks eggs too, nor that a man who hawks hawks, hawks hawks’ eggs too.— Elmira Gazette. The statement none can And there are others, so we find as on our way we jog, Who want to do their lifting on the small end of the log. They do a lot of blowing and they strive to make it known ‘That were there no one else to help they'd lift it all lone. king were effective there are scores and scores of men Who'd move a mountain off its base and move it back again, But as a class, to state it plain, in language true and blunt, ‘They're never worth a cent to lift, for all they do is grunt. —Chicago Herald, If TYPEWRITER. SPEED UNEXCELLED. | HIGHEST AWARDS, | NEW YORK, LONDON, PARIS, BRUSSELS, 10s- TON, NEW ORLEANS, ETC. THE HAMMOND TYPEWRITER CO., 447-449 East 52d Strect, New York. 17 Nassau St., New York soo, th S 198 La Salle St., Chicago. seo Washington St., | EUGEN D'ALBERT TO WILLIAM KNABE & CO. (Translation from the German.) During my sojourn here I had frequent opportunities to make myself acquainted with the Knabe pianos, and from fullest conviction I declare them to be the’ best instruments of America. sspould I return bere for ar- tistic purposes—which may be the case very soon—I shall most certainly use the pianos of this celebrated make. I give this testimonial with pléasure, voluntari- nd entirely unsolicited for by the house of Knabe. EUGEN D'ALBERT. in Philadelphia. Boston. | fe 8. én Se New York, May 16, 1890. A railroad across the desert of Sahara is projected. | As it does not strike an oasis throughout the whole dis- tance it will not be easy to water the stock,—Boston Globe, SPARKLING AND STILL. Radically cures SRHEUMATISM, GOUT, DYSPEPSIA, GRAVEL, all Kidney complaints. 400 Physicians agree that It ls the best water on the market, Mate OMe, Nesbas, X. 1, New York, 923 Brosdway. Sond for Pamphie ‘The Feejec-islander got out His griddle or his spit, And straightway he did set about To serve a roast on it, ** What is this dish 2" a guest inquired As he the same did scan. Replied the cook, as he perspired, “A pan-American.” — Yonkers Gasette, Pears’ Soap a COMPLEXION and as a SHAVING SOAP, has obtafned 19 INTERNATIONAL AWARDS, and is now sold in every city of the world. It is the purest, cleanest, finest, The most economical, and therefore The best and most popular of all soaps for GENERAL TOILET PuRPoses; and for use in the NuRsERY it is recom-_ mended by thousands of intelligent mofhers throughout the civilized world, because while serving as a cleanser and detergent, its emollient properties prevent the chafing and discomforts to which infanis are so liable, EARS’ SOAP can now be had of nearly all Druggists in the United States, BUT BE SURE THAT YOU GET THE GENUINE, as thereare worthless imiations, HAVE YOU SEEN THE NEW 18 MODEL HAWKEIE | DETECTIVE VIEW AUTOMATIC MAGAZINE CAMERA. CAMERA. CAMERA. CAMER? ALE INLONE The perfection of Instantace- If not, send at once for the Hawk-Eye Booklet, containing full description and sample picture. ‘ous Photographic Apparatus. 100 pictures without reloading. Prices $15 f0 $50. See Thos. Stevens’ experience with the Hawk, When 20 desired, we will do the developing and Bye in Africa on four pages before frontispiece in leading magazines for May Anihing. THE BLATH CAMERA CO., Manufacturers: also makers of the Celebrated Hlait Reversinie Hack, Eng hah Come Lenses and Accessories. pact. and other Camers 471, 473, 475, 477 and 485 Tremont St., BOSTON, MASS, Branches: 208 Stare St., Chicago, TIL; Factories 8 Axcu St., Philadelphia, Pa.’ Also sold by Dealers in Photo. Goods everywhere, comicbooks.com