Judge — May 10, 1890 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE MALADY UNFAMILIAR. Mrs, PELMANOR (with an idea of owning a Jersey)—" Has she any—er—family tree?" FARMER SCARSDALE. — Mrs. PeLMANor—" Has she a ec?" FARMER SCARSDALE (relieved) —G. Cleveland, ose RArip TRANSIT in the legislature—How not to get there, SWEAR and grow n response to a clap of thunder—“ H’m! ME. WIGGIN: That's wnat I said.” deals ‘0 MR, FASSETT—If it is too quickly done for they'll ask you what it was begun for. eee MR. CLEVELAND and Mr. Dana simultaneously—" Let up, will you? Thain’t said nothin’.” eee WE SUPPOSE Grover's re- marks about Charles An- derson were not intended for pub- lication, but as an evidence of good faith. sae THEY SAY that Dan Lamont cares nothing for politics now ; and there is that last year's bird’s- nest which is unmolested because it has lost its value too. see IsS_ ANDERSON tively that she wi again appear behind the footlights, and certainly it is too early to begin to consider the divorce. eee QUE SOUL is sickened at the arrest of three white men in Racine, Wis., for stealing two thousand chickens. Any cheap black man could have made a bet- ter record than that. oe THE VANITY of some men is such that they apply to them- selves the supplications addressed to the Almighty and regret sin- cerely that they cannot grant the favors obsequiously asked, trouble Mr. AN EFFECTIVE BRAKE. Tue conpuctoR (ar the train stops suddenly)—"T don't sce what the EAKIMS—"''Xcuse me, won't yer, boss? I jess stuck my haid out'n de winder en hit run agin dis tellygraft-post,” I dunno as I undersian’, lady 0, marm, Not an ache or an ail about her.” FAME IS FAME. Mr. Watterson now has his picture printed in con- nection with a story as to how he dropped a couple of thousand dol- lars at poker. see S is mothering so many national institutions in behalf of women Il presently be known as the handsome young woman who lives in a shoe. HE CHA is made that the two-cent stamp of Erin has been abolished to give place to the sickly English red. Really, we had not thought of that. ‘ F G, C, said those things about me he is a base prevaricator. If he didn’t say them he is the same thing. Finally, that's what he is anyhow.—C. A. D. eee 6¢A THIEF is a thief!" exclaims the Troy Press. Good gra- cious! You don’t say so. Even if he didn’t belong to the sheriff's office under Hugh Grant? eee 46 JACK the ink-slinger” of this city is not an attaché of a morning newspaper, as might ‘be imagined, but a rascal who slings ink on ladies’ dresses without the assistance of the press. eee HE QUESTION of temperance goes begging like a pauper in this legislature, and without the prospect of getting enough in its rags to buy the glass of beer which _ it promises to have unlicensed. eee seyouR READERS,” says the Commercial Advertiser to the JUDGE, “wouldn't know a real witticism if they saw it.” Perhaps not, my son—perhaps not. Sup- pose you try ‘em with the utterance of one of your habitual counterfeits, comicbooks.com