Judge, 1890-05-10 · page 10 of 16
Judge — May 10, 1890 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from **Judge** magazine contains several brief humorous pieces typical of late 19th-century American satire: **"A Moonlight Letter"** is a sentimental poem by Madeline S. Bridges about a woman writing to her absent lover Harry, reflecting on their relationship and wondering if marriage would diminish their romance—a common Victorian theme about love versus domesticity. **"He Liked It"** jokes about a Denver colonel who receives cocaine and whisky before tooth extraction, then asks the dentist to "pull some more"—satirizing both frontier roughness and the casual use of drugs in dentistry. **"A Circular"** mocks pretentious small-town hotels advertising dubious amenities like banning electric lights as "unromantic" and extending credit "on good security." **"Not That Kind of Article"** is a brief joke about a customer mistaking a jeweler's watch for a gun. The remaining pieces are similarly brief, pun-based humor. The illustrations are generic Victorian-era line drawings accompanying the text. Overall, the page reflects Judge's focus on genteel domestic humor and social satire rather than hard political commentary.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A MOONLIGHT LETTER. . dearest Harry, one o'clock Is ringing {rom the steeple (Of that Old church across the block ; We used to watch the people (Don't you remember ?) coming out ‘Alter the service ended By twos and threes—the slim and stout, ‘The shabby and the splendid aN AN I'm leaning from the window-sill— This moonlight’s so delightful ; The air is just a trifle chill, But neither keen nor spiteful. T try to think—it makes me warm— That you are here beside me And that I feel the friendly arm ‘That fain would guard and guide me. Ob, Harry, life looks strange at times: I wonder in my dreaming heart ic seems quite tong ago, dear, if we had been together All these sid onthe we've pined apart, Longing and waiting, whether My pulse Would beat so fast and warm Jost thinking of you, Harry's Oh, that the smoke might now float by ; Or if our love would lose its charm How dearly I'd adore it! Because—we chanced to marry ? Just here a subject opens wide Ab, well, time warns me I must end “That I scarce dare to touch on, iy 1 Since there is really but one side i ‘That I could argue much on. ‘Sweet kisses of ight, dear. My.own best boy!" I'm sure that me, What joys it may discover, Though marriage oft so sad is, I merely guess, but this I £xo%— Could never, never cease to be “Tis bliss to'be a lover! Tender and faithful. Gladys. MADELINE 5. BRIDGES, HE LIKED IT. CoLonet ARkIns (of Denver)—"* Young man, what was that dose you gave me afore you yanked th’ tooth ? ‘THe DENTIST —"* Cocaine and whisky, sir, DNEL ARKINS—"* Pull some more ! A CIRCULAR. THE Bang hotel of Cillyville, which is about to open its doors for the tenth season, wishes to inform its patrons and the public in general that during the past winter added a handsome clerk to its staff, 1d procured other facilities to add to as painted employed waiters from Horrid col the comfort of its guests. The advantages of the Bang hotel are too numerous to require recapit- ulation here; suffice it to say that its managers have banished the electric light as opposed to all sentiment; that they allow a napkin to each guest ; that they employ at a large salary a “special summer-resort correspondent ” whose only duty is to send the doings of the Bang hotel guests to the city papers, and that they give credit on good security. The beauties of Cillyville are well known—the farms, the brooks, the trees, the hills, and the post-office. The air is salubrious and free from lightning-bugs, and the water is as pure as any advertising circular can i ‘ow is the time to apply for rooms and credit. Dogs of good breeding and unencumbered widows are admitted HIS FIND. How.ixe Biue-jav (picking up a discarded banana-skin) -" White man must have heap big fight on choo-choo train, Lose lot bald-head scalps.” NOT THAT KIND OF AN ARTICLE. 66 YOU may charge this," said Jaysmith, indicating a watch he had selected, it for a gun,” replied the jeweler, “You seem to mistak as he placed it back in the case. A COMPROMISE, Father O'Reilly,” say int Peter I wish ye could be. ays Patrick so slyly, on Verself in that Ye'd let into heaven the likin's o” me It's howly ion wud be me salvation— “No Patrick ; don’t flatther yerself on that matther,” Says Father O'Reilly. “1 know ye too well Rut for yer consolin', I'd best be controllin’® ‘The gates of the divvle, to bar ye from hell.” A NARROW Mrs. Fangl married.” Mr, Fangle—" Lucky dog!” Mrs. Fangle—" What's tl I said he was to be pitied.” CAPE. “Stanley complains that he cannot get AN ACCESSORY TO THE FACT. Farmer Horcrass—" Vou wouldn't steal chickens; oh, no! I'm goin’ t' search yer on gin’ral_prine’ples. Mk. Drvoy —"* Criss-cross hones’, boss, yo's welkim. Yo" hoam so’s yo" won't be late to yo" suppah,”” lias (lo the mule), yo" ge un fel comicbooks.com