Judge — April 19, 1890 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

OVERHEARD IN ILLINOIS. Mrs, LaKgs' after the divorce) —"* Pardon me, but I should like to ask one question.” Mr. Beaver —"' I ‘will answer it cheerfully, madam.” Mrs. Lakesipr — Where did you use to buy me those mottled japonicas? Mr, Lakeside has promised me some and don’t know where to find them.” THIS CONGRESS must pass a tariff bill. That is a duty without the slightest tariff on it Ss“ JONES says his ideal of a man is John the Baptist. We had thought of setting up Mr. Cleve- land as our ideal; but, curiously enough, he lost his head too. LAST accounts Senator Brice of Ohio was diligently inspecting a map of his state to discover the location of his several Ohio homes when he was living somewhere else. eee GENERAL BUTLER is writing his memoirs. They will certainly be interesting. ‘The general is the brainiest man in the country, but he has been too generous with his information. He has put so many ideas in his barrels that when he shot them off they came out at the breech instead of the muzzle. THE BIBLE AS A SCHOOL PROBLEM. CUT WEST the great question is whether the bible shall be read in the public schools. Of course there is the old question as to which bible, and perhaps which creed and which catechism; but perhaps there can be a compromise which will include all ’ bibles, all creeds, and all catechisms, We MUTE TESTIMONY. don’t see how this is to be reached, people Miss HoxeRs—"“ How longs Mise 2°, 5° “set” in_ their religious opinions tah Loos be'n wearin’ a spy-glass in he's ly to fight for them and against eye?” the opinions of their religious opponents tase OE Ty Dat aint a spy. —and again if there is to be that compro- glass. He got struck wiv a clam in d 2 Suppah-room, an’ 's leavin’ hit in fer evi- mise there will be no time for any other dence.” kind of education; but little things of that kind will perhaps regulate themselves. To save our soul we can't see how, you know; but there have been interpositions of Providence that have accomplished miracles of that kind. WAIT A LITTLE. A SCHEME to buy the Appomattox ground on which Lee surrendered to Grant and preserve it as a part of our most important history has advanced suffi- ciently to put the ground in the hands of speculators. It is undoubtedly a good investment for the speculators; but it will be better to let their great-grandchildren get the benefit of it. There has been talk of a monument to Grant, and with regard to Appomattox we cannot forget the remark of Mr. Cleveland—which good a hundred years from now as it is to-day—" The soil siil! stands.”” TO THE TAX-PAYING VOTER, HERE OUGHT to be some practical reform as a result of the Fassett investiga- tion, The developments are startling, but not more so than have been those of a number of investigations since the period of Mr. Tweed, and which were unac- countably stopped at their most critical periods—notably the inquiry into the affairs ot the chamberlain’s office about six years ago. The little that is known is merely a hint at the robbery that has been and is. ‘The city is in the hands of professional c j robbers whose long experience has made them experts. They don’t even have to AN EXPOSE. run away. The prosecution that ought to follow investigation is either omitted or Rev, Mr. WiNkWuNK —" My hearers, I shall have to ask your is of no avail. Mr. Tweed was wont to say, “ What are you going to do about it?” indulgence for a few minutes. I’ forgot my manuscript and have The people have asked Tammany, “\What are you going to do about it?” The %ent my little boy for it. His son (coming in)—" Marm couldn't find the writin’, but JUDGE. respectfully inquires of the people, “What are you going to do about it?” here's the book you copied it from.” comicbooks.com