Judge, 1890-04-19 · page 10 of 16
Judge — April 19, 1890 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several distinct satirical pieces typical of Judge's 1880s-90s humor: **"Birds in Their Little Nests Agree"** uses a bird family metaphor to satirize domestic discord—parents' arrival disrupts a young couple's peaceful marriage, suggesting in-laws as unwelcome intrusions. **"How He Was Reminded"** jokes that opinions are like worthless currency—subject to change without notice, mocking inconsistent argumentation. **"The Hatchet Not Buried"** depicts two Civil War veterans (identifiable by "Veteran in Blue" and "Veteran in Gray") whose post-war animosity remains unhealed. One admits shooting the other through the ear decades earlier, and they're still seeking revenge. This satirizes how sectional tensions persisted long after the war's 1865 conclusion—the "hatchet" (peace) was never truly buried between North and South. The remaining sections include philosophical aphorisms and light domestic humor typical of the magazine's satirical tone.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
i: 26 JUDGE “BIRDS IN THEIR LITTLE NESTS CROSS-LIGHTS. AGREE.” A tight place—The bar-room. Too often teft—The right path. A handicap—The Turkish fez. A good boarder—The carpenter. The world's fair—Lovely woman. F YOU believe this little tale Just come with me. I know a nest not far from here, A bowered nest with woodlet near i Where—you shall see. A short horse—The Shetland pony. Before the footlights—Boots and shoes. ‘A happy pair a year ago Wages of sin—The price of your laundry. ‘They nested there. Doomed to the scaffold—The house-painter. Nor care nor strife could gain # lease Making a note of it—Reaching the upper F. q To enter in and banish peace Come to light long after it was discovered—Electticity. i Where all was fair, rare a) A month ago and ali was changed ; q But why the fuss? The mother-bird her mother brought, And father-bird new quarters sought— “Twas ever thus. a i | HOW HE WAS REMINDED. S4YOUR opinions remind me of a hundred-dollar bill.” “Ab! valuable, 1 suppose?” “No; subject to change.” A PERTINENT QUESTION. Young Gostin —" Mr. Roks, | wish—er—that is, ( desire ~er—the hand of your daughter.” Roks—" What’s the matter with the rest of her?” SENTENCES PASSED BY THE JUDGE. PEOPLE will take anything except advice. To be effectual sympathy should be given as a draught —not applied externally. Gratitude flows casily for things received. It is harder to give thanks for that withheld. If the will-o'-the-wisp hope leads one into the bog 4 em occasionally, this much may be said of it—it rarely quite deserts one yntil the bog is crossed. : After all, the only real difference between laughing and crying is that in one case the corners of the mouth tun 7 up, while in the other case they turn down. SHORT, BUT NOT SWEET. Metaphysical lexicographers are unagreed as to whether jealousy is a base alloy of the gold of love, or whether it is a vein of gold which stamps as genuine the metal of love A little bitterness with the food, though it may not aid digestion, is still not bad for the soul, At any rate it is a sauce to which -one is destined early to become accustomed. . ‘ What elders so uncompromisingly dub an overweening self-conceit in a young person may in truth be but a buoyant confidence in his own ability to do what others have failed to do. : KATHMINE CROSJEAN. nppie, (catching up with them) —“* Jolly moming, isn’ a) ‘ i a q u Pi a Li THE HATCHET NOT BURIED, VETERAN IN BL T can't be mistaken. Weren't you jaines's i VETERAN IN GRAY I _ VETERAN IN BLUE Weren't you shot through the left car in a hand-to- VETERAN IN GRAY—‘' Well, I've been lookin’ fer you fer "bout twenty. hand conflict ? seven years, you mink-hearted buzzard, you !” VETERAN IN GRA’ * Twas.” : ji VETERAN IN BLUE I'm the man who did it.” 4 | pr 7 | | comicbooks.com