Judge, 1890-04-12 · page 6 of 16
Judge — April 12, 1890 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several unrelated satirical vignettes typical of Judge's humor: **"There Were None on the Dog"**: Two working-class men (Boonry and Pielsnicker) observe a crowd and mistake it for a fire, but it's actually flies on a window—a simple visual gag about misperception. **"The Marvels of Creation"**: Jones lectures his son on nature's illogical design, noting coconuts hang dangerously high and turtles can't use their own shells for combs. This mocks pseudo-intellectual naturalism popular in the era. **"He Should Have Been Told"**: Doctor Bilgus dismisses a patient's high fever as treatable with any "fever medicine," suggesting medical incompetence or quackery. **"He Is Always Ready"**: A bookstore clerk boasts that ready-made letters are available, and quips that authors who seem eccentric are actually just hack-writers—poking fun at literary pretension. **"They Always Catch Us"**: A husband complains about his wife's slow dressing routine, then she delays further—domestic humor about female tardiness, a common period stereotype. All are lighthearted social satire rather than political commentary.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THERE WERE NONE ON THE DOG. Boonry—" Must be a fire over there, Pielsnicker, See all those people Pirtsnick ER —"' Vere ish it? I don'd see it.” running?” Boppey —"* Well ; I'm gittin’ blinder an’ blinder, It warn’t nothin’ flies on the winder.” THE MARVELS OF CREATION. HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN TOLD. ving his son an object lesson in natural history. OLD DOCTOR BILGUS had been attending a patient wi You see, my boy,” said Jones, “how mysteriously nature, that sus- to the latter, and it was d pends cocoanuts on tre hes a hundred feet from the ground, to the “We'll have toc great annoyance of travelers, distributes her gifts. There is the humble Bilgus; and slow-going turtle, for example, out of whose shells the best combs are made, but which in turn is utterly unable to use them, not being able to boast of a single hair.” out benefit led to employ another phy: I in another doctor,” the patient's father said to James is getting no better; he’s in a high fever" “ Why didn’t you tell me he had fe broke in Bilgus. “I've got just as good fever medicine as any other doctor.” PART OF THE BUSINESS. y a glish author who can write better in a ia ywhere else. What a freak of geniu HE IS ALWAYS READY. ee] WAS readi Young lady (entering book-store)—" Have you a ‘Ready letter~ es “Yes; but if there are any authors who like to make themselves appear odd I've generally noticed that they are hack-writers, ARSENY. THEY ALWAYS CATCH US. Mutpeck =" 1 waiting a cold hour for you. It takes a woman an eternity to dress.” Mxs, MvLpeck "Pardon the delay, my dear, “Just run up and brush your hair and we'll run along.” comicbooks.com