Judge — April 5, 1890 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE ONE MORE UNFORTUNATE. A’ THE close of day he went home for rest— Home for rest as the sun went down— On his face a smile, in his mind a jest, As he thought of the beefsteak brown. For men will expect, Though women object, ‘That the supper must wait, Bee it ever so late, When house-cleaning time arrives, Ile was horrified when he heard the din, And saw everything upside down ; He was tired and mad and he swore like sin, And declared he'd go back to town, For men grow profane, Though women explain, And there’s always a muss, And there’s always a fuss, When house-cleaning time arrives. Up the stairs he went with a rush and jump, To prepare for the meal in town— With a crash and thumpety-bump-bump-bump ‘The poor fellow came tumbling down, For men are abused And women confused, And the fellow that swears Strikes the soap oni the stairs ‘When house-cleaning time arrives. THE EX-CIRCUSMAN’S SCHEME. RomPLep Brjames —"'If he'll only foller me over I'll be all hunky !" IT WAS NO MAN’S LAND. INQUISITORIAL: JONES had lost his garden- gate and questioned the maid thereon. “What time did you close it?” “ About six o’clocl “ Was it there then? A COQUETTE. SITE let_me flirt, it seemed no harm, Although my love she'd always squelch. She used to let me take her arm, But gave her hand to some one else. COMPLAINTS BELOW STAIRS. Tue BUTLER—"' It’s tirin’ me th’ - way we're treated, Katy. An ox couldn't that the actor Jenkins made a — draw these last cigars th’ master bought.”” disastrous failure this season.” Tun MAID—"' Yes ; an’ look at me. ‘Actor—"Nou don't say! Sure, Oi'm ashamed to go on th’ street wid ; 5 th’ last lot o' face-powder th’ missus got I thought Jenkins was doing jiirscif" well.” Manager —" Well, he was until he struck Kentucky with bis tank drama.” HIS WATERLOQ. Manager —“1_ understand AN GLD SAYING NEWLY SAID. Miss Kewt (who wants to bring him to the point) —“I tbink some old bachelors are horri 2 Mr. Ratchellor —What about present company Miss Kewt —* Present company always accepted. APRIL. H, APRIL, flush and fair, when mortals fain In endless verse their feelings would express (Twere well if they. would rhyme a little less), When maidens chatter in a lively strain Of new spring bonnets till they're nigh insane, When lads and lasses longing to confess Their inmost thoughts and dreams of happiness, Turn every street into a lovers’ lane, I do not like to praise thee much at all, For once, presuming on thy glowing skies, I decked myself in all my finery, When lo, a soaking rain began to fall, And I berated thee ‘mid tears and sighs For making such a miserable duck of me! NATHAN of, LEVY. ——"' There, friend, now who's got yer?" . i Peat fine farm,” remarked Cumso, as he showed a friend around the suburbs, “is a sort of no man’s land.” “Why, it looks as though it had an owner,” “So it hi but the owner is a widow.” UNREPUBLICAN. Mrs. Fangle—"\ don't believe in presenting American ladies to Queen Victoria.” Mr. Fangle— Oh, it doesn't matter as long as they are not given to the sultan of Turkey.” INNOCENT AMUSEMENT. Western woman—" Doesn't your little gi Boston woman her the editorials in a Chicago paper to read.” ‘are for dolls AT THE CIRCUS. Bobby —* What animal is that, pa?” a —“ That is an old hyena, Bobby.” Bobby —* Why, pa, that doesn’t look a bit like you. Ma doesn’t know what she talks about half the time, does she?” “Dolls? Mercy, no! When she wants amusement I just give A FRANK CONFESSION. Mr. Hocan (anxiously) —"* M agin fall my hogs will be fit to kill Mr. GILMOOLY (in disgust) — but the dumb things won't be fit to ate. hooley, do you think -y may be fit to kill, comicbooks.com