Judge, 1890-03-29 · page 11 of 28
Judge — March 29, 1890 — page 11: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several brief comedic sketches typical of Judge magazine's satirical humor: **"Last Night"** is a romantic poem mocking overwrought Gothic sensibilities—a man imagines supernatural terrors on his neighbor's roof, only to discover it's merely laundry drying (clotheslines with pinned garments). The satire targets melodramatic imagination versus mundane reality. **"Lost His Trade-Mark"** jokes about a shoeshiner whose own shoes are now unpolished—he's lost the very marker of his profession, suggesting social decline or loss of respectability. **"The Polite Thing"** satirizes social courtesy: a gallant man (Jones) must compliment a woman's youth while she claims to be ten years younger than her actual age, forcing him into awkward flattery. **"Due Deliberation"** mocks hasty elopements: a clergyman asks if the couple has deliberated, but they've only spent two hours traveling while her father pursues them—hardly careful consideration. **"With the Sixty-Ninth's Awkward Squad"** depicts military drill sergeants struggling with incompetent soldiers, poking fun at military discipline and training. All reflect Judge's characteristic light social satire of American life.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGE LAST NIGHT. night strange whisperings woke me, Last night when all was still. T opened my casement gently And leaned from the window-sill. T opened my casement gently : ‘And peered through the silent night, And far on the terraced roof-tree I saw weird forms of white. T heard a sound in the darkness, A shuddering here and there ; I saw wraithed figures trembling And vanishing into the air. A writhing arm in the shadow, swirling and ghostly limb, And still through it all the whispering ‘That spoke to the midnight dim. ‘The morning broke and the daylight Came in through my lattice wide, And [looked across at the roof-tree With its terraced towers beside ; And I saw in the sheen of the sunshine That the spirits and sounds of the night Had been only my neighbor's weekly wash Winging its clothes-pinned flight ‘Then I opened my casement gen! And leaned from the window. And oh ! the tones of his loud-checked vest Were whispering still, LOST HIS TRADE-MARK. Ted —"\ guess you remember that young fellow who has just passed. He used to black shoes.at the hotel. I wonder if he’s still in the busine Ned —* Hardly. are polished.” You see his own shoes QUITE A DIFFERENT MATTER. Husband — Well, my dear, if you are going to town to-day I suppose you will want some money ; here's twenty dollars.” Wife—"What do I want of money? told you I was only going shopping.” 1 Miss Fay. Bersrorp—"* No, 403 THE POLITE THING. JONES is nothing if not gallant. Mrs. B— is exactly the same age as her husband, but she will not admit it. “ My husband is forty,” she said to some friends the other day wouldn't believe it, but there’s actually ten years’ difference in our ages.” “Impossible, dear madam!" hastily interposed Jones, anxious to say something agreeable ; ‘'I'm sure you look every day as young as he doe: DUE DELIBERATION. Clergyman (to eloping couple) —" You are sure that you are doing the right thing in getting married; that you have deliberated on this step?” He—*Deliberated! Parson, we were two hours on the road and the gal’s father is only ten minutes behind us!” Clergyman —" Join hands— man and wife—spliced—two dollars. Noi there's nothing like due deliberation in matters of this kind.” CLIMATIC. BersForD (in an undertone) —"' Your aunt Roxana reminds me very much of our New York weather, Miss Fay —**. Because she’s err: She won't cles WITH THE SIXTY-NINTH'S AWKWARD SQUAD. ERGRANT—"' Private Finnerty, turn out yure toes!" —"' Now, thin, close up th’ line !" we can't,” comicbooks.com