Judge, 1890-03-22 · page 7 of 16
Judge — March 22, 1890 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple short humorous pieces typical of Judge's satirical style: **"On the Promenade"** (top left): A poem satirizing vanity and social pretension. A man boasts about walking with an elegantly dressed woman, implying romantic conquest—the punchline reveals she's his sister, deflating his self-importance. **"His Home-Coming"** (center): A domestic joke where an absent-minded professor puts his puppy on his head instead of his hat, discovering his mental decline through this mishap. **"The Wisest Spider"** and other brief pieces use clever wordplay and situational humor rather than political satire. The Irish-dialect pieces ("A Word of Warning," "Couldn't Be Denied," "Romance and Reality") employ period-typical ethnic stereotyping, featuring working-class Irish characters speaking in exaggerated brogue—common in Judge during this era. **Overall**: This page demonstrates Judge's mix of social satire, domestic comedy, and ethnic humor typical of early 20th-century American magazines, with relatively light satirical targets rather than hard political commentary.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGE ON THE PROMENADE. ALLL decked out in sheeny satin, rich brocade or silk expensive, Carrying a neat umbrella with a handle ornamented ; On her head a hat that's pretty, though its surface be extensive, And her hands with gloves well fitted—gloves with rarest per- fume scented— Any afternoon you'll see her as she gayly goes a-walking, Graceful, queenly and attractive—conscious that she's very charming, ~ Knowing that all eyes are on her and that men of her are talking, ‘That the hubbub that she causes tends at times to grow alarm- ing: Some her ruby lips are praisin, For her smiles they all are some her eyes so bright and flashing ighing, all through life would like to guide her ; So, imagine how I'm envied, how in wrath their teeth they're gnashing When, of all the throng that views her, / alone do walk beside her. hut they need not grow so angry, or in scornful speech berate me, (Oh, what would they say, poor mortals, if before their eyes I kissed her ?) ‘There's n0 reason thag I know of, none at all, why they should hate me: Let me ask—may not a brother walk along-side of his sister? NATHAN M LEVYS HIS HOME-COMING. A PRETTY SURE INDICATION. Proresson Partrince—* Mother !” Mrs. Partripce—"' Yes, love.” Proresson Partnipce—"* You told me the other day that I was getting absent-minded ? Mrs. Paxrripce —"' Yes, love.” Proressor Pawrnt “1 believe Tam. “I've pur on my head and fed my wig. he puppy: THE WISEST SPIDER OF SOME one has prettily told in rhyme Of a spider who crept t And spun his web o'er the ALL, a church one time Dox” As the safest place from the world’s rude knocks, But my little spider was wiser than this (Church records will prove he judged not amiss), For over the gray old christening font His hammock he swung with his delicate we And there he may swing from chime unto chime, “Till Sabbaths are blent into one for ali time For some Ilerod holds sway in this babyless land, And the obsolete font unmolested will stand ! CORNIE LAWS-T. JOUN, A WORD OF WARNING. Mrs. Onepian —"‘A letter from my darling Willie! How his bright little face Apple-woman—"Kin Oi kape me sthand open on $ ticamed with a noble resolve to stand! between me and the cruel world when he started on Fick's day?” that whaling-voyage four years ago. How I long and long to see him !” Std thei e ii House-owner —" Yis, me dear. But ef ye want to sell enny oranges ye'll hev to git grane ones.” . Pat- SO THEY DO. ss] KNOW where the ghosts all live, papa,” remarked Johnny Cumso. “ Where, Johnny “In gnome man’s land.” ON THE 17TH OF MARCH, THE band will play “St, Patrick's And *' Kitty of Coleraine,” he wearing of the green” and then he land that gave us Pat ; But most appropriate of all: “ Where did you get that hat COULDN’T BE DENIED. Mrs. O'Brien the blissid day? Di a twelvemonth agone Mrs. O' Toole —" True fer he act dacint an’ do it wid paris-g Phwut does the loikes uf ye care fer n't yer husband go an’ kilt himself jist Mrs. O'Brien; but didn’t rane?” ROMANCE AND REALITY. WHEN the great day arrives it is useless to stifle The emotions that rise in your bosom, my Pat! You know very well that the shamrock’s a trifle To the terrible brick that you wear in your hat, Witte (a month later) —"* Well, ole lady, how goes it? Clear decks fer der live stock I's brought yer. Dey’s two flamingos an’ a baby sea-cow outside.” comicbooks.com