Judge — March 15, 1890 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE A LENTEN CONFESSION. AN OBESE QUERY. ‘The bells of Lent! sy WAS grossly insulted yesterday,” remarked Mr. Grover Cleveland to one Repent { repent! of his law-partners. E ALL have wandered far astray “How so?” And followed each some other's way ; “A. person asked me, ‘Where did you get that fat?"” We've heard too much what people say ; We've harbored spite while seeming gay ; NO ABBREVIATIONS IN HERS. We feel like hypocrites to-day. Boston maiden (aged nine)—"*Ob, mother, that Frances Phastpace’ from We've shaved our neighbor's notes when due; New York is such a rude little girl that I dislike to associate at all familiarly We've made the false seem fair and true ; with her, I really fear that our set will consider her a regular Thomas-boy.”” We've voted in our interest too ; We've“ bulled”” and “‘ beared” without ado, And narrowed all our upward view. But thou, oh Lord, look down on men! We all shall do the same again ; We're like poor sheep within the pen, Each scrambling for the sweetest grain ; We all shall do the same again. REAL COURAGE. JONES and his friends were discussing the lat- lion accident. Why, I've been in the cage myself a dozen * boasted that inveterate joker. “And you weren't afraid?” “Of course not; the lions had been taken out.” BOTH SORRY. Minister (to convict) —* My good man, I'm very sorry to find you here in prison.” Convict 1111 —" Yes, sie; but you ain't half so sorry as Tam HOW HE DIFFERED FROM GEORGE, Se THIS is Washington’s birthday,” said the teacher. “Now can any one in the class tell me why we celebrate the event?” “'Cos he never told a lie,” said Johnny Sprat. “Why don't we celebrate my birt AT THE GALLERY. eorge Washington's?" asked the t , 3 (entranced with the painting)—'1 could gaze at it forever, Clarence. “Cos you never cut down a cherry-tree. “L ain't interested in pin-cushions.” PROOF POSITIVE. S¢PyO YOU think all prayers are answered?” was asked of a clergyman. “Oh, yes; if they are made in the right spirit,” replied the man of the clo “How can a man know, whether his prayers are made in the right spirit?" persisted the inquirer. “Oh, by seeing if thev are answered.” AN INDUSTRIOUS BUREAU. Fangle—"The signal-service does four times as much predict- ing now as it used to.” s that so?” ; Where it formerly made one ‘indication’ it now makes fore THE JUDGE’S DICTIONARY. Forgiveness—An act of forgetfulness Friendship—X partnership of two with generally one active member. Happiness—X mountain in the distance; a mole-hill at one’s feet Suspicion—A curse in embryo; an insult without reparation. King—The man you passed without salute or recognition yesterday. Queen—She who wears with patience her hereditary crown. Comedy side of the mask put outward. NOT ENTIRELY OVER IT. Tragedy—The forsaken nest; the shadow stalking in the sun- Tur HOTEL WAITER—"‘How'll you have your steak, sir?” ahings: the byplay et he fester: at the Hast, SAMMY ILAUSER (of Montene, «fier a might with vome of hiv New York Man—That tragedy in which humanity is the actor and God /riends) —"* Same ’s usual, Phil Stack each ; blues an’ reds.” and his angels the silent and unmoved spectators. carwxinn cxosjean. comicbooks.com