Judge — March 8, 1890 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HUM OF THE COURT. HE INFLUENZA is said to have been set to music by a European compoger. It ought to be the very ius Sneezer of comic oper: 2 GREAT TROUBLE with the most popular of the entertain- ments of the day is the fact that the can’t sing with their legs. TIONS that salesladies be permitted to sit have been amend- ed. It is proposed now that they be permitted to sit—on none of their cus- tomers. T IS apparently true that Miss An- derson is lost to the American stage, and the great future that was before her has accordingly taken its place at the rear. 6] T IS a happy ending to a and fatal controversy, contemporary. A difference that is fatal may have that kind of result, but we ought to shed a tear or two during the hilarity to the honor of the corpse. MAN of Indiana left thirty-five thousand dollars for a home for old maids. The courts declare the Ludgate, for no spinster ever acknowledges her- self an old maid until she is dead and therefore has a home of her own. SOME LADIES of St. Louis, unmarried of course, propose to tax such bachelors as marry widows, ‘They had better be careful. is the greatest aid to matrimony, and if they persist the: chance to get her widower. ME: DEPEW sys, “L never wore a décolleté dress myself,” addi reflectively, “I should think they would be a little bit cold in winte Mr. Depew’s hesitation is natural, but when the summer breezes blow there will be nothing to prevent the experiment. destroy their HE INTEREST of the kaiser in the workingmen is both sudden and surprising; but it is a fact hitherto unrecognized to a large extent that the more work and the better the work the better for that non- producing part of the government called the army. FROM HEIGHT TO ABYSS. ' Miss Mato —"Papa compared you with Columbus to-day, Mr, York, but Washington. We have had LUDGATE, (encouraged and flattered) —"* Really ?" Miss Matba—" Yes; speaking about your new brokerage business, will invalid; and that is just as well, he said nobody knew just where you were going to land.” N ONE ARTICLE ic is alleged thar tht president has the second-term bee in his bonnet, and that he is so iny different to public opinion that he has no desire to conciliate it. It must be a somnolent bee and one that has lost its entire buzz. ACT that a woman in Siberia flogged to death and that her murderers go unpunished is a sufficient answer to all the argument against nihilism that can be offered. The czar ought not to wait for dynamite, but save civilization the expense of it. MBS. BLAKE wanted Mayor Grant to appoint a woman street com- missioner. There is logic for you. Because a woman looks pretty there- fore she can make the streets look nice. Because she has finger-nails therefore she should be made the gen- eral of an army. A PAPER of Boston says there is only one place that is a literary rival of Boston, and it is not New our eye on Chicago; but that place has put up so much paper on the . world’s fair that it has none left for literary contributions. HE GENTILES having beaten the Mormons in Salt Lake City, it is alleged that the knell of plural marriage has been rung; but plural marriage has plural lives, and it used to be a belief that, cut a snake into a thousand pieces, it wouldn't die till sundown. THE OTHER Sunday sisteen criminals were flogged by the sheriff at Newcastle, Del. , The Buffalo Express thinks no sheriff ought to be brutalized in that way; but the brutalizing preceded the exe otherwise nobody could have been found to do the flogging. ORAKER ‘says, “I will hunt for the truth to the day of my death.” A very good motto for anybody; but there ought to be some action that would occasionally bucket the truth to the top of the well. However, we needn't be in a hurry about it. We can’t afford to lose some of our best c THE INEBRIATED KITTENS. “Ha, ha! A milk-punch.” “Oh, my!" “Let's go home." Prohibitionists. comicbooks.com