Judge — February 22, 1890 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE WANTED—A WIFE. ED—a maiden whose Puritan neatness ies with the fashion-plate’s studied completeness, Who socially poses with recognized sweetness ; Wanted—a lady, you know. Wanted—a maiden who knows French and German, Who solar or lunar eclipse can determine, Who can swiftly make abstract of lecture or sermon : Wanted—a lady, you know. Wanted—a maiden whose deftness of finger Makes her aw fait with piano of Singer, Who never allows dust or cobweb to linger; Wanted—a lady, you know. Wanted—a maiden whose tact in the kitchen es breakfasts and lunches and dinners bewitching, Who knows how to do a" girl's” work without * hitching"; Wanted—a lady, you know Wanted—a maiden who, by her confession, Can aid in support without household digression, Who has either trade or an art of profession ; Wanted—a lady, you know. Will agree to send cabinet carte when I write her, And may with regard to my" prospects” enlight her; Will not seek divorce, but will surely requite ber Hf she prove such a lady, you know QUALIFYING A JEST. Miss Bexnow—"' It's been a standing joke between Tom and myself, Molly, to see that clumsy Mr. Eakins following you around.” Miss TRENEGAK —"'It's a sifting one with me, dear. He hasn't been on his feet for ten seconds at a time all the afternoon.” ‘THE HAT and the natural-gas industries of this country are threatened by English syndicates, Let us hope for the safety of the birth-right conferred upon us by Mr. Washington, even if we find it difficult to put our hands on it. E in the case of the boy Washington what persever- ance can accomplish. It is impossible for the most her- culean youth to chop down a cherry-tree with a little hatchet; but the lie’ that George did it lives and flourishes to this day. TIS TRUE that at times in his impetuosity Mr. Washington ‘ot his spurs on the toe of his boot; but he immediately became calm, carefully considered the situation, placed the spurs where they belonged, went in his stocking-feet to the door of his CHLwon—" Dat ain't tent, and quietly requested his body-servant to come in and draw Tietva— ay : ¢ the leather on. orter know, HUM OF THE COURT. SHOULD like to see the man 1B. Arnold about ten minutes,—G. Washington, W. was first in the caucus, first in the con- * vention, and first in the camp of the E CANNOT praise Washington too much for his ability in selecting the ablest officers and the best widow. HILE it is undoubtedly true that George Washington couldn't tell a lie, we mu: le Ways remember that that wasn’t what killed him, WASHINGTON, as has been remarked, never knew when he was whipped; but we can pardon his ignorance when it is remembered that there were no daily newspapers then, the grip, but it must nfessed that when he sneezed he did t with the aid of an English pocket-handkerchief, Hut, mark you! it was an American sneeze. SHOULD make progress at this time in behalf of honor to the mother of Washing- ton. To begin with, let us send an army to Fred- cricksburg to stop the quarrel over her remains. JORGE was not a stickler for eight hours as a day’s labor. He frequently got up in the DOING PENANCE middle of the night, regardless of wind and , weather, to cross the Delaware amid great cheers aha en eas ea meat fet ed. up. ke: that? eLL—"'He passed the night with papa in the library just after mamma's hat-bill and suffering came and he's been swearing thorribly ever since. comicbooks.com 4