Judge, 1890-02-22 · page 10 of 16
Judge — February 22, 1890 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This poem satirizes an indecisive voter swayed by domestic manipulation rather than political conviction. The narrator claims neutrality between two positions (likely protectionism vs. free trade, based on Joe's arguments), but his wife Molly—without arguing—subtly influences his vote through domestic comfort: better coffee, warmer slippers, and affectionate gestures. The satire targets male voters who believe themselves independent thinkers while actually being influenced by their wives' domestic management. The "weathercock" metaphor emphasizes his lack of principle. The piece mocks both the husband's self-deception about his autonomy and, implicitly, women's indirect political power during an era when they couldn't vote directly. The surrounding content includes various brief humorous sketches on unrelated topics (commercialism, affected English mannerisms, etc.).
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGE ON THE FENCE. HEN it comes ter votin’, why, I'm allus on the tence. thet's th: sarcumstence. An’ the way I'm pulled an’ hauled eraoun’ would knock a feller flat. Joe, he comes argufyin’, preachin’ free-trade talk an’ sich; ‘He sex pertection doctrine’s baoun’ ter land us in a ditch. He sez the “party o” progress” ull git ther scon er late— An’ Joe's ex smart a feller ez there is in all the state. But Molly doesn’t argufy ; she on'y hangs erac .n', An’ I notice to'rds electin’ time thet things is done up braown ; The coffee’s got an extra snap, the buns is woaderful light, An’ I find my slippers extry warm a-waitin’ me at night She never sez a word while Joe's a-layin’ daowr. the law, But sets an’ sews a long white seam, so meek ye rever saw. But when clectin’ mornin's come my coat's all bru hed an’ shook, An’ Molly helps me on with it an’ gives me sec a look I vaow ! thet child gits more an’ more her mother’s look agen: ‘An’ then she smiles ter see us go a-trampin’ thro’ the lane. I vaow! I'm like a weather-cock, I shift an’ alter so, But when it's Joe's er Molly's way—which way d’ye think I go? FLORENCE R. PRATT. A COMMERCIAL AFFINITY. Mr. BartLetr—"' May I—may I, Miss Lucille, have just one glimmer of hope?” Miss Goprrey —' Charles, this is so awfully sud- den. [have never thought of marriage.” Mr. BartLett—'" Neither have I. I just wanted you to ask your father to change off from Arno & Con- barn and buy your dry-goods from our concern.” A CORROBORATION, Miss Weehawken —" You know that a nod’s as good as a wink to a blind horse Miss Boston —"\t is accepted as an incontro- vertible fact that an abrupt inclination of the caput is equal in value to a rapid voluntary movement of the eyelids in attracting the attention of a sightless equine.” THE ANGLO-MANIAC’S POINTER. CHECK, chawppies, check with cans . Evewything you get to weaw Twousawhs, bose and vest and tie, Coat and gaitaws must stwike the eye With the biggest plaid you can find at sales Faw thawt’s the way it’s done by Wales. IS IT POPULAR? Fleecy —* How many people seem to be going insane nowada Downy —"Ves; TRACES OF THE SERPENT. Mr. Bufes — Jess had one glash “f le: Mrs. Bufles (glancio; s trail) — shake it so hard. It's catching. nade, m* dear.” he next time you take one, Leander, ask the man not to "sa popular craze.” SENTENCES PASSED BY THE JUDGE. THERE is a grace of manner more potent than kingly mandate. Politeness, like foreign languages, should be inculeated in the nursery or it misfit. A new and never-failing in: spring is to the existence of a river. KG. will ever prove ration is as necessary to a healthy life as a A NARROW ESCAPE. Fangle (reading) —" December 31st is the favorite wedding-day in Scot- land." Mrs, Fangle—" Why, one day more and the Scotch wouldn't yet married at all.” A LEGAL INDORSEMENT. CUTIE is money,” the sages said in the good old times, And it finds a modern echo when we punish petty crimes, When the judge pronounces sentence this is the well-worn phrase : “The decision of the court is ten dollars or ten days. MISINFORMED. Mrs. MeCorkle—" What is your son doing now, Mrs, MeC Mrs, MeCrackle—" We i Mrs. McCorkle A farm he was clerking in a drug stor le a pharmacist.” he? Why, I heerd some one say A CHICAGO CONVERSATION. THE EFFECT OF PRACTICE, Jim—* Why, Mabel, you look just the same, though I haven't seen you, Poctow Currs—" Pretty bad lip you've got there, my boy ; but 1 for five years. Any entanglements ? se epATIENT-=t""ain't th’ lip, doc. Mabel—" Only a temporary one. 1 wars married a few weeks ayo.” drum-c ps. [called to see about a cot comicbooks.com