Judge — February 15, 1890 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE PAT’S VALENTINE. A SUFFICIENT REASON. MARY N, me darlint, [§ A POLICE -COURT. Whin I'm wid ye I can't shpake “Prisoner, you're charged with having stolen two dollars in small sil- Of the love that's all a bubblin’ ver coin from the complainant.” In me heart and makes me wake. “But, your honor, suppose your honor hadn't had anything to eat in But I sit all dumb and stupid two days?” i Whilst Tim Riley wags his tongue ; “What are you talking about? Didn't the officer find a twenty dol- And I wish him at the bottom lar bill on you?” Of the say, the fish among. “Yes, your honor, but you see I didn’t like to change it.” Ah, Mary Ann, me daisy, Just write a little note A SOUTHERN VIEW OF IT. And drop it quick this avenin’ N A SOUTHERN CITY. In the pocket of me coat. Country darkey —* Whar am de mewls what gocs wid dat car?” And I'll read it whilst I'm wid ye, City darkey —" Vat car doan hab ter hab no mewls. Dat's one ob Unless it should say no; dese here ‘tricity cars from Bosting Thin sure I won't commence it, Country darkey —" Fore de Lawd, dem yanks am great folks. Dey But take up me hat and go. freed de cullud people, an’ now dey done gone an’ freed de mew!s.” TOS be JONRS. A SURE THING. ATA SOIREE MUSICALE * And now, darling, that we are at last alone in this retired corner, far away from the guests, I can tell you how much I love you.” : “Impossible, for mamma has just gone to the piano and every- body will be rushing in here to get out of the way.” THE TO MIRROR UP NATURE. Bessie —" There's one good that valentines do.” Jessie I'd like to know what it is, “They make us see ourselves as others see us.” Tk NATURAL COLOR. Giles—" What sort of valen- tine did you send your girl Santbe deny silhouettes, ob course. =DITOR’S VALE i aS THE 24 TINE. HELPING THEM OUT. She —" Where do most of your Mrs. SmitH—‘* What's that smacking going on in the hall?" ’ poems appear?” ‘Tue NuRsE—"' That's the master putting on his rubbers, ma’am.” \ He —* In the waste-basket.”” APPROPRIATE GIFTS. PARISIAN contemporary suggests, apropos of the French fashion of making | new-vear's presents, that the following should have been given if they were not: Zola — A crown of violets to typify at once his modesty and the sweet per fume that exhales from his works. Coguelin — X fatted calf in honor of his return. Bernhardt — \ reduction of fifteen years from her age. Boulanger — A map of the cape of Good Hope. Dom Pedro— \ thesis proving that the overturning of an empire is peace— for the emperor. NOT A FLAW IN THE ARGUMENT. Jones (velore a hair-dresser’s window) — Well, | must admit that this fel- low’s preservative against baldness has some merit in it. I've been 1g this shop every day for the past thirty yes in the window hasn't shed a hair in all that period. As I'm getting a good deal like a billiard-ball myself, guess I'll go in and buy a bottle.” s, and the wax hea DIFFERENT ADVICE IN DIF Patient Doctor — RENT CASES. Well, what do you find is the matter, doctor?” You are very bilious, sir, and you must at once stop drinking— ar own home or do you board?" HIS COMPLAINT. ODEREY (as the safe- * walk ond! street ef goodniss, ‘t Patient se caress" Doctor —" Then, as Twas about to say, you must stop drinking chicory.” comicbooks.com