Judge — January 11, 1890 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

a JUDGE 229 THE WAY IT DRESSES. Tt was walking down Main street. It wore a light- colored overcoat, tight-fitting in the back, and the trousers it had on were simply immense. ‘They were cut flowing and were of good cfoth dotted with one-half- inch checks of dark gray alternated with white. Those trousers were very loud. It wore a small derby hat and carried a cane. Every one looked at it and some said it was a man disguised as a tailor’s fashion-plate, while others said, ** Look at that !"" Another of the same tribe, though less loudly dressed, was amusing. His trousers were skin-tight and he could not walk. He hopped, and his cane doubtless considerably aided him. Two samples of the grand-order-of-what-are-they-fors, which every sensible man guys or despises.— Buffalo Express, Now the lambkin wods the katydid, ‘And the young calf learns to blatt ; And the dudelet sheds his checkered pants ‘And gets a new spring hat ; And the poet thaws his frozen muse ‘And writes of rhyme and reason ; ‘And—hush ! you crazy idiot, You're six months out of season, —Binghamton Republican, When Baby was sick, we gare her Castoria, When she was a Child, she cried for Castoria. When she became Miss, she clung to Castoria, When she had Children, she gave them Castoria A FAREWELL TO DOM PEDRO, Dom Pedro of Brazil, you were a first-rate fellow, ‘An honest king, who did the fair thing, And kept your conscience mellow ; But still we'd have you know that we're not drowned in woe, For the business of kin And kings have got to go. We donot wish you ill, Dom Pedro of Brazil, Hut freemen groan ‘neath the weight of a throne, And the world has had its fill. a played-out thing— Dom Pedro of Brazil, the right hereditary Will soon be torn from the purple-born, For Tom, and Dick, and Harry. All men are kings by birth, and monarchs of the earth, And the biggest king, and all that sort of thing, Is the man of biggest worth ! A crown fits no man ill, Dom Pedro of Brazil, And any old cap on an honest chap Is a crown that fills the bill. Dom Pedro of Brazil, no man doth bear thee malice ; But there's something rare in our western air hat crumbles a monarch’s palace. No more the people's need shall feed-the tyrant's greed, Each man bis own king, and all that sort of thing, Is the spirit of our creed. And the people have their will, Dom Pedro of Brazil, And of czar and king, and all that sort of thing, ‘The world has had its fill! S. W, Foss in the Yankee Blade, C, C, SHAYNE, MANUTACTURER OF Sealskin Garments AND ALL Leading Fashionable Furs, WHOLESALE and RETAIL. Specialty made of Gentlemen's Fur-Lined Overcoats, Caps, Gtoves, and Sleigh Robes. YO West 424 Street and 108 Prince Street, NEW YORK, FASHION BOOK MAILED FREE, THE CELEBRATED | a d PIANOS ‘Aro at present the Most Popular and Preferred by Leading Artists, Warerooms, 149, 151, 153, 155 East 14th St. W. ¥. SOHMER « CO. Puitapeienta, Pa., 1318 Chestnut Street; Curcaco, Ter., ax6 State Street : Sax Francisco, Cat., Union Club Building? Sr. Louis, Mo,, is2a Olive Street; Kansas City, Mo,, 1123 Main St This is a New Jersey boy's letter: “Dere Ma—I got here. I rode on a muel from the stashun, It want a muel sure nuff, but I don't know how to spell the name of the thing it wuz. I ast Jim if hoss wuz rite. Jim is the culled boy that goze huntin’ with me and rides behine me on the muel. "He sed he didn’t no, so I thort I had better write muel as I cood spell muel. Jim ain't egercated. Ime glad Ime eger- cated, but Jim nose all about dogs and traps and huntin’, Ime havein’a bully time. I killed 2 squirls and 5 doves and 3 potridges. I wuz very sick on my stummuck on the trane and also 6 rabbits and 1 mockerson snake. I ¢ Jim bettern enny boy I no, Pleaz send me some pants like Jim's that won't wear out behine. “Your feckshunate son, Sam Bates."” —New Jersey Mirror. Mrs, Winstow’s Sootiine Syrup for Children Teething ; soothes the child, softens the gums, allays all pain, cures wind colic and diarthoca, 25 cents a bottle, The Count d'Eu wants to fight for the Brazilian throne. French princes learn little until their heads are cut off.—E/mira Gazetle, A Michigan paper suggests that John L, Sullivan be turned into the ring with a four-year-old bull, John has certainly never hesitated to face a couple of horns. —Boston Bulletin. Avnew cause for a pension is reported by the Union correspondent of the pest (Me.) Courier, who says that a veteran in that town ‘is suffering from strength- ening of the brain, general ability, and chronical in formation of the spontaneous hilarity system, Angostura Bitters is the best tonic in the world for dyspeptics. Manufactured only by Dr. J. G. B. Siegert X Sons, Sold everywhere by druggists. People will learn after a while not to build too high. ‘The tower of Babel was followed by the confusion of tongues and the Eiffel tower is followed by the influ. enza.—Binghamton Republican, Don't waste the gas, the high-priced gas, Now nights grow long and drear ; When comes to pass, each precious lass Expects her sweetheart dear. “Twould be quite right to quench the light When dudes, as green as grass, Make their tongues run on what they've done— ‘They'll furnish all the gas. COME TO STAY. Certainly it has. You ask what? ‘Cabinet Sekt,” of course, the purest and best Champagne in the world. Chicago is merely a cheap provincial town where hogs wallow in the strects, and where the village cow cats hay from the tails of the farmers’ wagons grouped around the town pump in the public square.—-Chicage ews, We have often wondered how long our wife would remain a widow after our demise ; and what sort of a fellow she would get, and whether he would be a printer and continue the business at the old stand, and whether he would fill our place in the local department, and if things would go right along as though we had not de- ceased, We do not blame a woman for getting married as often as she can if she likes it.—Goshen Democrat, HILLIPS’ oes QCOQ Unequaled for Delicacy of Flavor and Nutri- tious Properties, Easily Digested. Different from all other Cocoas. ‘The man who wears no rubbers on his feet and is not moved by influenzal news is fit for sneezing, medicine and chills,—Elmira Advertiser. If you were a subscriber to a Halifax pape would be expected to belleve that a diamond slog Tost by a young lady who was out sailing in 1882 was found in the stomach of a codfish caught four hundred miles away this last October, Consider that you have had a narrow escape,—Detroit Free Press. Some folks believe a parrot has human intellect, And give as proof the ease with which they naughty ~ words collect. Our parrot swears in Spanish, French, in German and what not, She curses in so many tongues we call her Pollyglot. —Chicago Herald, Mr. Peter Gruber’s three-legged rooster is dead. This same rooster was once crowing because he was too valu- able for a thanksgiving sacrifice. His value lay in his third leg, and this third leg was the source of pride which led to death. He jumped to a roost, injured his third leg, and bled to death from his injuries. His ex- perience is a valuable legacy to other three-legged roost- ers.—Oil City Derrick. JAMESM BELL &Co. aoe ates papas Universally Conceded the Best Made, IRRESPECTIVE OF PRICE. Actual Shape, Wedweed. Actual Shape, J VERY LONG HEAD. VERY ROUND HEAD, N. ESPENSGHEID’S Celebrated “NEW YORK’ Hats. SALESROOM: NS wassaustaeer. HS for Young Men Always Extremely Stylish Hat A SPECIALTY. FRONT, N. B.—The above illustrations show the necessity, in order to obtain a" perfect fitting hat,” of mentioning more than simply the size of head. Full Directions “ How to Order,” price, ete., | sent on application, YOUMANS CELEBRATED HATS. Style and Quality Unequaled. 180—719—1107 Broadway. PREMIERE QUALITE CIGARETTE. tobaccos prevents that dryness of the throat usually produced by smoking other brands. prejudice to prevent you from giving this incomparable cigarette a trial. A SUPERB ARTICLE. The standard of purity ury, and not a low-priced article. and excellence. The faultless union of two matchless Do not allow Ie ls simply perfection, and a lux- Our Vanity Fair and other smoking mixtures are the finest for the pipe. 16 First-prize Medals. Wm. S. KIMBALL & Co. comicbooks.com