Judge, 1890-01-11 · page 10 of 16
Judge — January 11, 1890 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page collects several humorous pieces typical of Judge's satirical content: **"The New Mother-in-Law"** is a dialect poem about a bride's mother emotionally reacting to the groom's toast mocking his mother-in-law. She tearfully defends herself, establishing boundaries against being treated as a joke. The piece satirizes family wedding dynamics and the stereotype of difficult mothers-in-law. **"The Irish of It"** presents a brief exchange mocking Irish immigrant speech patterns—a common stereotype of the era. **"Old Chocolate's Jocose Chat"** appears to be racial dialect humor, using exaggerated African American vernacular for comedic effect (common but offensive by modern standards). The remaining pieces—"The Origin of a Song," "A Logical Deduction," "The Diary," "Getting Her Poem Ready," and "As the Bottle Was Being Sealed"—are brief joke vignettes about relationships, philosophy, and social situations. The illustrations support these humorous pieces. This reflects Judge's mix of social satire with period stereotypes.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE NEW MOTHER-IN-LAW. <S Thar before me sot Bell As fine as a rose, A-sailin’ to kill Tn her white weddin’ ‘The ring on her finger a-glow' ‘An’ clost to her side Sot the groom, Dan'el Glower, Ina slickefitin’ coat With a button-bole flower On zhe lap of his collar a-showia’. An’ how it come up Tain't clear, but says he, A-filtin’ his glass ‘An’ a noddin’ at me, *Say, folks, here's a toast for your drinkin’; Fill up, every one, To my mother-in-law!” An’ with that he haw-hawed, Though I reckon he saw The tears on my eyelets a-blinkin’. EAI. | cricd—yes, I aid, Right in front of ‘em all! Though the table was full T let them tears fall | On my plate some kerplashed, On my gown some fell hot, An’ I just let 'em go, Though I knowed it'd spot, For "pear’ like my heart was a-breaki Says 1," You kin fling <Any insult at me, For I'm lonesome an’ lorn, But—watch out, Dan'el C (For my blood was a-bilin’ an’ brewin’,) “Tam gentle an’ meek Asa lamb, an’ all thet, But I'm not guitea slave For to patiently set An’ be joked at,” says I, a boo-hoo-in’, An’ then—well it "pears Like the hull o' the crew Got about me, an’ Bell She was huggin’ me too, An’ erushin’ her fine weddin’ bunnit An’ Glower, he stoot "round Sort o° shame-faced an’ shy A-rubbin’ his chin, An’ says be, droria’ nigh © Maw, fergive me ; please do" —an* I dor EVA WILDER MCGLASSON, THE IRISH OF IT. Heap Mason —" That's about the worst ladder T ever saw! you nail the rungs on ever MeCoo— average jist about th’ right shtep.” OLD CHOCOLAT De han‘some wench needs w: ad t' nail thim wid me eye alone, sor, but Oi tink they'll ’S JOCOSERIOUS CHAT. DE BASHFUL pig makes po’ po'k, ch Why didn’t “2eR-- we THE ORIGIN OF A SONG. the great chief comes home from the Massachusetts ation-bee)—"* Wheerdidjugotthathatta Houten, THEN HE PASSED ON. MICHKLEHAN was viewing one of the pagan figures in India, when, hy means of a mechanical appllance it began to weep copiously. “Marvelous!” he exclaimed, “Tears, idol tea A LOGICAL DEDUCTION. FROM the note-book of a philosopher. “Women weep so readily 3 tion and are so easily consoled that it would seem to be the duty of a benevolent-minded person to offer them from time to time an excuse for shedding tears.” ind with such evident satis THE DIARY. NFER strive your inmost thoughts to write, You'll find it’s but to woo grief ; And this is why each wretched wight Has ne'er turned o'er a new leaf, GETTING HER POEM READY. He—"\ suppose you are very busy nowadays preparing your poem for commencement.” Ske—" Oh, yes, indeed, I've tried the waist on twice already." A new hat ull nebbah cu’ de he Dar er no use tryin’ toc dodge A little bad luck seasons good {2 De one-eyed man tiinks a heap ob ‘is sight Dar er less in tools dan in de han'lin’ ob um, Dar er some men dat allus wa on a hoss, er straw, hit er all one w'en de mule er hungry. A mile on de wrong road am two mile outen de way De hungry mule nebbah noti ds on de hoss yo" r es de mildew on de hi fh yo" hol’ yo" head. 1 man ovahbo'd. A po’ fightah l'arns bime t good toe begin a quar'l De boy dat doan’ cat green apples aan’ babk ‘is shins ain't wuth raisin’ De O-be-joyful yo" drunk las’ night doan’ tas'e so good dis mawnin’, w an gits on top de heap dar er aemany dat wondah’d w'y dey didn’t see ‘im befo" it wudn’ ‘bolish lyin’ ef chillen war bo'n widout tongues: er i cheatin’ ef eberybody had enuff an’ a wagon-load toe spare; er stealin’ AS THE BOTTLE WAS BEING SEALED. ef ebery man dat stole cotched a disease by hit, AMENSON —"' Holt on, Davie! Here vos a ninedy-day note ohf Cohn’s, J. Ae WALDKO. Skveese it in too. Terhaps mein son finds der floater.” comicbooks.com ~