Judge — January 4, 1890 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

somite “It d sheep. She never had a nose like like bullet-holes in a blanket. ONE ON THE OLD GENTLEMAN. Me. Dannie Goke das become only partly reconciled to his artist look any more like Dertie than it does like a and as for the eyes, the: ‘Vake the blamed thing out of my sight ! Tiexvie (emerging) —* You're extremely complimentary, papa !" HUM OF THE COURT. WE MUST all have the intluenza—it’s so English, you know. TWILL be remembered that we predicted the year 1890 as much ‘as six months ago. THE THRE = men who killed Dr. Cri 2 bein a new: year in a satis- ory manner for the first time in their tives. ON THE 8th of January we must all have a dinner in honor of Jackson, and thank heaven that his party is out of power THIS YEAR must necessa half as bad as the last was without prematurely exhausting itself. THE NEW YEAR is welcomed with a universal sneeze. The smile of is knotted to a feast settles itself to atchew and subsequent handkerchiet nd every’ our new leaf see that blank You might be tempted to begin y, and that would lose you every one of your good resolutions. QS THE WHOLE some clergymen insist that newspapers ought to be published for duty and fun, but not to make mone published the book doesn’t open Some papers are n that way, but they die ATTI WILL go back to Europe half a million richer than when she c. It is quite superfluous to wish tia happy new year. y rich but her first husband is dead A FOREIGN TITLE is not a good present for a young woman to be- gin the year with, because the man at- tached to it is not only worthless but ex- ceedingly expensive. Better buy a doy. R. BI the supreme court, says he has reached the goal of his ambition. He is the only man living who is thor- oughly satisfied and frank enough to tell of it She is not . associate ju y be a pretty fair one because it can’t be Mk. BENPRANK =" M-m-mar-r. ( otce from next room) — Mk, BENEKANK "THT (d-rer-r r) crossed with th’ telephone. (4- THE IN E desire to kill murderers in the tenderest way brings up the suggestion of a convention of murderers to decide as to the gen- tlest way to kill their victims. BEAUTY is a woman's best capital, and when a Buffalo jury award woman merely one thousand dollars for the spoiling of her beauty in a railroad accident both beauty and Buffalo are greatly disgraced. BROTHER D the correct sta PEW says he kissed the blarney stone, That is not rhe way of it was this—the stone got out of its bed and walked a mile for the privilege of kissing Chauncey. CERTAIN PARTS of Ohio are over-run with rats, and farmers are suffering severely from their depre- dations. ‘The explanations are numer- . but Grover Cleveland is firm in the conviction that it isa natural result of the protective system. [, PONNELLY is much broken up * because the public refuses to ept his theory that Bacon wrote Admitting that Don- nt, who cares? A lie that has lived healthily hundreds of years is about as good as if it were the truth. ‘T IS TRUE that George H. Pendle- ton was the author of the civil- an forgive him for that when the fact is recalled that his appearance on the national ticket with McClellan destroyed all chance the little general might have had of an lection, ement, service law; but w A “trades carnival” in Mitchell, Dak., recently, a woman wore a dress decorated with eight thousand dollars in gold and bills, ‘That was as sensible us that amount of diamonds, the object in both cases being to ad- vertise possession of wealth; but the price of the young woman and the ac- fal cessories should have been put on a hdsigs haircbrush has gor Fre card=hoard and worn on her comicbooks.com