Judge — 1889 — page 52: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

BEST THINGS FROM JUDGE, ESOTERIC ODE. Lremember, oh, yes, I remember, When light was beginning to dawn, I floated about in the ether A poor little atom forlorn, And how in the darkness and chaos Your form was the first to appear; You were only a molecule, darling. But such a sweet molecule, dear. I remember, oh, yes, I remember, The days that'we spent in a pool, Among the Silurian meadows, When things were beginning to cool. Although Iam sure I was happy T think our appearance was queer ; You were only a pollywog, dar But such a Sweet pollywog, dear. ‘The time that'we spent in a cave, L lately saw in a collection ome bones which you helped me e1 plaques you now paint are quite ¢ In art your improvement is clear; You were only a troglodyte, darling, But such a sweet troglodyte, dear. I remember, oh, yes, I remember, ember yes, L remember, w life in Arcadia ran, 5 youlasked me tocall; THE RULING PASSION. When wandering down by the river A cycle has passed since that mornin VALID (Co sister) —“ Tilly, dear, if I die what dress will you wear at iny We frequently met the god P. And one since last night at the ball, That twist aa Psyche you're wearing The time is long when you'reabsent, Sister (sad/y)--'* The purple, with bugle trimmings. Brings those golden ages so near; And passes soquick when you're here Invatip (fecbly jovous)—" Thank goodness, then I'shall die contented !” You were only a dryad, 1 For you are my sweetheart, my darling Butsuch a sweet dryad, : And such a sweet sweetheart, my deat HE WAS GETTING HIS PAY, City cousin—‘‘And how did you leave all the folks at the farm, Uncle John? Do you know we had such a delightful time at your house last summer! I'm sure we put you to a great deal of ying to papa this morning that I didn’tknow r repay you for your great kindness. By the e those eggs that you brought in to u: Country cousix— ght dollars—two dozen at four dollars a dozen.” SOME NEW DEFINITIONS. Postreity—An old lady who lives a long way Lire—A romance that would seem incredible were it written out. AN IMPROMPTU ADDRESS—A spasm of eloquence carefully. clabor- ated in the retirement of the study. TeLecrapn—A machine for sewing words together. f Posruex——Men of letters who carn their living with their feet. A SLIGHT MISAPPREHENSION. Uncur Ben (having spent the night zvith the boys, finds himself in the mornin, the cactus bed) —** B'gosh, L never knowed skeeters to bite so hard sence T've been justice o' this deestric? FAMILY TIES ARE BINDING. Wiceiss—*1 was astonished to hear how harshly old Plutus spoke to his secretary this morning. I should think the poor devil would resign.” Ckaptey— Bah! He doesn’t dare. Don’t yon know he's a poor relation? ABSOLUTELY CORRECT. “What type of face should you call that?” said one person to another in the photograph gallery. “That,” replied the other, after examining the picture closely, “is atin typ SENTENCES PASSED BY THE JUDGE. Love is as constant as the sun. The fact that the object of its rays freqently changes is a matter of minor consideration: . It is possible for :: slight difference in the use of epithets and ad- jectives to be very trying to the sacred bond of friendship. The sooner oné makes up his mind to give full value for every- thing received, the fewer disappointments will he be subjected to. Onc half of the world languishes from famine, while the other half sickens by ove ing. Thus is an eternal balance maintained. How exceedingly fortunate that the powers that be pursue their eternal purpose without the possibility of detention or interruption! Suppose there was such a thing as a literal answer to every indi- "TWAS ON THE BROAD ATLANTIC.” vidua yer. Whi nd of world this would be! . a 2 rc airniig’ aNDAEAGE INKELiteLM (om days wrecked)—“A-ha! a sail—t vill hoisd me your drousers! Dey vos bedderas mein!” IrsteIn—“ Holton, Abe! See ohf efferythin’ vos oud der pocgkets !”” Approach trouble as you would a mule—from the front, comicbooks.com