Judge — 1889 — page 51: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Rhinders flock, an “Hold on!” [ exclaimed. “Why in the Lord’s name did they call this place Roggin’s Corners when every individual inhabitant is named Rhinders ?” **Dey wuz a man ob dat name killed by d’ cyars heah one day a few yeahs ago, en d’ cit'zens kinder tumbled to it, ez bein’ fresh an’ new, and so ebersence hit's bin Roggin’s.” “What's your name? “Oh, my nem’s Rhinders. adopted in 'sixty-foh.” I fell back and Morg went on. ‘sponsible for d’ hull I wuz BACK NUMBERS. is family pew, Lesaed back on the cushion aid sins bered, And he dreamed that the preacher these words had proclaimed : “The hairs of your head are all num. dered,” ‘The bald headed man awoke with a start From his weekly devotional slumbers; ‘Then he sank on ‘his knees and fervently grayed UL send me down the back num- LURANA.W. AIDE LDO. NOT HIS FIRST ENGAGEMENT. “This is a lovely ring, my dear, she said, ‘and it's a thousand pities it's a little too small.” “Never mind,” he returned. “That's the one I once gave Gracie. The next time I call I will bring you the one Jennie had.” THE BASKET TRICK. BEST day, and The girl who liked to kiss the most never got near the mistletoe. ¥—"* For two reasons, THINGS FROM IN THE CONSERVATORY. “Quick, your decision, Louise hy do you hurry ‘me so? Professor Barnard proaching the earth hem !—T think Thear your mother coming to HE'LL GET THERE. GUARDIAN OF THE REALM BLISS. ¥ are anyhow ? Personace (zoith an air as of former consequence) —" Aw was Ministaw_ Phelps, Gon! herknaw ? ha awfully hawd on a fellaw. Me hawt's all English, you y a little n blawd flaws in Weally, I’m not wesponsible, you knaw.” Guarpta “Take this jibbering idiot to the cell prepared for that growth of human fungus known as Anglomaniac, and throw a few dozen more dudes on the fire to freshen it upa little.” A CUNNING ENTREPRE- NEUR. An ingenious manager of a theatre has solved the problem how to induce his fair patrons to remove their hats during the performance. He posted up the following notice : “* Ladies are notified that, although the strict rule of this theatre requires them to leave their hats in the clo room, those who have a rived ata certain age will hereafter be excused from its observance.” Luck is seldom a good master. His pay days are too uncertain. JUDGE. the rate of three million miles a FOUND OUT. She wore an air of mystery ‘That puzzled and perplexed, And, lover like, with jealousy His anxious heart was vexed But with grim determination He removed all further doubt, ch faculty alert OLD CHOCOLATE’S JOCOSERIOUS CHAT. Hit her casy fly. De steelyard make hit. De well offenes’ dipped gibs de toe kill de hungry won't lie less yo" ahk at man ez he am at a tief. A many folks say t'ings dat hit er hahd toe git any one toe sw'ar toe. De fool dat keeps his mouf shet offen looks mo’ wise en a weddah prophet. De man w'at’s mos’ discreet w'en sobah makes a-many a slips w’en drunk. HIS DISGUISE PENETRATED. In the museum. He—What a villainous-looking onkey that is! 1 declare it looks just like our old gardener, Mike.” (in a whisper) hivin's sake don’t give me aws The chimpanzay in th’ nixt cage is a dethective from Chicago, an’ he wants me for imbizzlemint.” comicbooks.com