Judge, 1889 · page 45 of 72
Judge — 1889 — page 45: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three humorous stories/cartoons from late 19th-century Judge magazine: **"The Maid from Boston City"** is a poem celebrating a Boston woman who, contrary to stereotype, isn't pretentiously intellectual—she doesn't read Browning or speak Greek/Latin. The joke satirizes the cultural pretensions of Boston society. **"Her Last Request"** depicts a woman on her deathbed asking her fiancé to retrieve her opera cloak from a dressmaker before attending the opera with another man (Harry Jenkyns). The dark humor lies in her casual infidelity even as she's dying. **"One Effect of the Wheat Corner"** jokes about bread prices during a wheat shortage ("corner"), suggesting a German immigrant family lost children because they couldn't afford bread—the punchline being the baker's dozen dropped from twelve to eleven. **"Canary Bill, Late of Red Dog"** tells of William Sikes attempting to reclaim a pawn-shop ulster (overcoat), discovering it's moth-eaten. He jumps the counter; the clerk (likely Jewish, suggested by dialect) responds sardonically about the "exchange." The cartoons satirize contemporary social issues: pretension, infidelity, economic hardship, and ethnic stereotypes common to 1890s American humor.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
BEST THINGS THE MAID FROM BOSTON CITY. Of charming form, of ple: Of easy carri Of everything that’s pretty ; No wonder then I fell in love With this bright creature from above — This maid from Boston city. No glasses bridge her classic nose, Nor speaks she Greek as you'd suppose, Nor Latin—what a pity ! But that is why my passion. Affection for this winsome dame— This maid from Boston city. ds not Browning by the page, upon the latest or sings in love-sick ditt au fait in all she tries, And that is why I dearly prize ‘This maid from Boston city And though this charmer’s lately come From cultured Boston's busy hum (I mean not to be witty), onacall; k girl is, after all, This maid from Boston city. Ac M, ELLAND, A New HER LAST REQUEST. “It’s all over, Lil. Stop on tvo-oun request.” “Don't tak over it in tim “Tnever shall—never! I tell e another day. And say! immins’s on your way back and. see if that dove-colored opera cl of mine is finished. she promised to have it done by ‘Thursday, so I could wear it to the opera with Harry Jen He'd be so disappointed if L couldn’t £0.” Carl refused me this mom- our way down town and get me yottle of Iaudanum, It's my last it so to heart, dear, You'll get you I won't stop into Miss ONE EFFECT OF THE WHEAT CORNER. “You have a large family, I understand,” said the landlord toa German who wanted to rent one of his houses. “T have shoost a pake “Thirteen children, eb “Nein. De brice of pread goes up, und de paker's dotzen vas now only twelf.” dotzen.” Angataat Le I vill make aval NOT A FANCIER, jouusny (coho has ben to infinite trouble and expense in finding @ rell-red present for his fancec) b t do you suppose I’ve brought you this tine?” MPLER (coy/r)—* Oh, something awful jolly, I'm sure. How nice it is to be correct in Y gaged to cousin Bell, had the effrontery to bring hera stes. Why, Mr. Carroll, who i: le dog the other day.” able husband, 3 change minesclluf for your daughter, how muc vill you gift me to boot?” FROM JUDGE. CANARY BILL, LATE OF RED DOG. When William Sikes went into Isaachsteen Stupplebeen' pawn-shop and said he wanted to redeem his ulster, the haw’ nosed clerk let fall “The Mystery of the Stolen Cache; or, All for Himself.” . “My ulster, the mauve-hucd ulstet with smoked pearl buttons. I want it; want it bad, too. Going down to Red Dog to opena William's voice, when he wasn’t agitated, was as mild as a cooing dove’s ; but when he was warmed up with some of th latent heat superinduced by copious draughts of budge, his bazoo was an ear-drum warper, a sereecher, “Thafa nodshon dose vas dose ulsters, aind dot?” said the clerk as he hauled down a rolled-up bundle from the upper shelf. i Say, see here, my angel ! this coat is full of moths, she shook out the prized garment. A tired look came over the clerk It sounded like an old story to him, and he wearily d, ‘*Vell, vot you ox- peedt, ganary peards ?” ‘ | i NOT THE KIND HE EXPECTED. exchange isno robbery. RETIRED MILLIONAIK ind if L ther boot yea is af yez is welcome to it! KAGrICKER—" Oh, all, here it . you howling dervish! No; this time, my gentle-voiced And before the amazed clerk could hop over the counter William Sikes had jumped on a i 1 was two blocks away. And am Sikes came by the name of ain out of Denver and sped id take him toward Red in its bud and sap when Billsaw at once that there were two openings presented to him— paper or the church, He had had experience in the newspaper business, but knew he could runachurch, He tackled the church. It was a new thing to the boys, and they patronized the church and piled up their money upon the plate when Bill waltzed down through the aisles. Pretty soon Canary Bill felt the pangs of con- chim. He was not 1 man a heart and he knew it was wrong for him to sail under false colors. one Sunday when the church was full, he got up in the’ pulpit and said: “Gents, [can't stand this thing any longer, Thain't a preacher. I'm only a poor lost sheep like the rest of you. I'm ashamed of myself. V've hired a preacher, a genuine white choker, to come’ up and do the square thing by you. As for me, I'm going back into my old trade and [hope I'll see you all at my ranch. And when the néw preacher came Canary Bill hanging from the end of a rope. Reas stole a mouse-colored mule. comicbooks.com