Judge — 1889 — page 36: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

BEST VERY HIGH ART. the Academy of Art, over-awing, Descanted terms all learned by heart ‘About a free-hand drawing. We at our hearts felt envy gnawing, We knew just naught of free-hand draw- ing. But Bills, an impressario, Stood by, a ballet-programme clawing, And said "High art with us also Depends upon our free-leg dra We blushed, our diffidence now For we had seen his free-leg drawi We would have said, But thought it rude, “High art with each Leans toward the nude." A DUBIOUS REPUTATION. your husband is not so indolent as er to an old colored woman. n't, sah,” replied Aunt Chloe. 's excellent news, my good woman,” said the pious “T hope said the mini “Deed h he used te be,” “You'se ju kin’, sah,” she replied. ‘My man is a hustler in providin’ fur his family ‘round Thanksgivin’s.” THINGS apologi FROM JUDGE. A DIGNIFIED ASSERTION OF MANHOOD. “Boo—hoo—hoo! He says he won't never come home unless father s for whipping him.” HE DIDN'T ASK CREDIT, Jack Borrowir—‘I'm in a peck of trouble, Tom, and I wish, if you can, you would help me —Any way I y; only don’t ask me again y name on the back of Borrowrr (exh an injured air)— “T wasn't asking for your credit, Tom—all I want is) a little— cash ! MARY'S LITTLE PIE. Mary made a li Adainty gem a She crimped ital With fig-u-ra tives stunning, Mary placed her little pie Before her Sunday lover He dallied with her little pi And now I NOTHING EXTRAORDINARY. City cousin (showing country cousin the sights)—'* What do you think of the y 2” dwarf? Wonderful, Coustry-Coust ones than that!” Well, why don’t you go and put some clothes on?’ Don't see anything very wonderful; I've scen bigger A FAMILY DIFFERENCE. Miss Daisy Buffington tried to entertain her Aunt Hepsibah, from ‘Three Mile Junction, last week, but lamentably failed in impress- ing the old lady with her niec sense of right and wrong. They boarded a train on the elevated railroad, and all the way down town Miss Daisy did her best io point out the objects of interest to be seen from the car win- dows, and explain to her kins- woman why such little sories to the ensemble of the the Phelps statue and a wes sidewalk Sixth avenue dude were allowed to exist. On reaching the Battery the statue of Liberty was pointed out, and the rapt expression on the good old lady’s face was a study. She gazed and pondered and pondered and gazed, and finally broke out w “For mercy’s sake! how did they float it out thar?” “Why, auntie!” replied her A FORLORN HOPE. DisarrointeD FATHER—T have tried my son at everythi is absolutely no good; so I've decided to make a minister of him.” ENTHUSIASTIC CLERGYMAN —'Ah ! a most laudable idea.” , but he convoy, “they built it in sec- tions, just as, for instance, they built this clevated railroad that we just came down on.” “The what?” exclaimed Aunt Hepsibah, throwing up her hands. ‘Why, the el d railroad ; what is the matter, auntie ?” Margaret D. Buffington, if you mean ter say that you've taken you'r unsuspectin’ aunt, who's been the secretary of the Three Mile Junction temp'rance club for goin’ on thirty year, on anything elevated she’s going ter leave you, an’ leave you to once !” And she did, on a belt-line car which connected with the Grand Central station. NOT SO SICK AS SHE MIGHT BE. Otp tavv—"There, throw away that cigarette, little boy. makes me sick to see a boy like you smoke.” Littte pov—‘ Yes, ma'am; but I'll bet you'd be sicker if you smoked one yourself.” WHERE SHE FOUND PLEASURE. Jawkixs—‘‘1 can’t see what pleasure old Miss Scraggs can find in that diabolical parrot. It’s enough to drive one to the mad-hous Hocc—‘‘Pleasure, my boy? Lots of it. Don't you suppo knows perfectly well how much it annoys everybody else ?” A FINE HAND. Epttor—' This is too long. You would better omit some of the adjectives. We have only room for about three hundred words.” New rerorter—‘“‘Oh, I'm sure it will go in. I write such a fine hand T can get a good deal in very little space.” comicbooks.com