Judge — 1889 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

BEST THINGS O, COME OFF! In the milky way Frisked ii “Hells He starts with fea What is this here With a roar, “You must be a st For I never have With a wee Voice says she, 1 from Paris, Everyone perfect love, [ belong to a bonnet. Below a short way LU passed the custom House to-day. QUESTIONABLE DESTINATION. a bad man. He came west on the back of an army mule at the age of seven, and began his occidental career on his arrival at Jewel C soaking the faithful ani ail in kerosene and applyi match to it. On his father’s remonstrance, Deady, as they 1 him, reached around back of the old gentleman, drew the paternal revolver and bored a hole in his sire large enough to crawl through. For this deed he was more or less canonized in the hearts of the Crag citizens, and when at the age of fifteen he completed the task of making & himself an orphan, by pushing & his mother down an andoned shaft, he jumped into state pro- minence as a dangerous man. An appointment sheriff brought him the chance to gratify his killing propensities, and at the age of thirty his private grave- d was literally brimming over. Stage - robbery, horse - stealing, arson and general cus: filled in the chinks betw: murders, and when at last an enemy, who was never detected, substituted a dyn: ion ¢ ge ly carelessly snapped the hammer on it, what was left of him was the residue of a very un- respectable citizen. The camp rector, a mild and guileless man named Bland, was called in. to offer spiritual con- ying, but think ard as he could he could not remember one single act of Deady’s which it was possible to twist into anything approach- ing goodness, and all he was able to say was that he was very sorry the accident had occurred. “Parson,” whispered Deady, “you're a square man an’ IT allus e property ?” of the finny tribe 2” Farwrr —“O, that’s all right. Where am I goin’? Well if that isn't a pretty question to ask! Can't yer see by my make-up that I'm an angler, and in search Ttho't yer was go FROM JUDGE. Mes. O'GuiRe (a little near sighted)—*Oh moi, oh moi! Pat Hollohan’s b'y has on him onyhow, Phat I wonder has he been sick ? set store by yer, an’ no man kin say I ever fired at you when you wasn't lookin’, I'm goin’ now, parson, and I want yer t’ know I like yer, and I can't no more ter make yer b’ it than ter sh right here that we may meet whar I'm a-goia ter fetch up ! parson,” and Deady stopped talking for ever. ‘The nd has been wondering ever since whether h will be gratified. PECULIARLY ELIGIBLE. At chool examination, the principal, knowing that the mem- s of the committce whose duty it was to assign the prizes were frequently annoyed by the im- portunities of parents, especially recommended one pupil as hav- ing claims to their consideration. “But in what do these claims consist?” asked the rman. “She has no mother.” RESTITUTION. She took the little Cupid in her hand. A dainty figure modcled out of cla: She said, the sweet coquette, “Who could withstand he charms the tiny statue doth dis- play !” . Admiringly the sm But I, alas! am clumsiest of m It dropped and broke; I braved her angry look. “Take me,” said ; “Love shall be whole again.” NATHAN 34. LEY. Almost any girl likes to fec! able to twist a young man around her finger, but she generally pre- the young man circle it himself with a diamond ring. MISUNDERSTOOD. “*Laay, stranger, where be yer goin’? Don't yer know When a man has the convic- tion that the world owes him a living, the best thing he can dois to go to work immediately and a-fishin' !”” collect the debt. comicbooks.com