Judge — 1889 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

BEST THINGS FROM JUDGE. She is witty, entertaining, with a spirit uncomplaining, onward lures you to the highest realms of bliss. And a smile t She is not a bit coquettish, and the only time she’s pettish Is when, frightened, she assures you that she cannot spare a kiss. She is dove-like, meek and quiet, and you'd swear you'd think her diet Was made up of milk and honey, of molass ind of mus! The least sentimental notion you'd express would cause commotion, And you would not think it funny—such resentment in her blush. So no matter in what fashior You will meet with but you express your master passior proaches and you'll quake wi You may boast of high position, still you gain not recognitio inward fear ; And her slony heart's approaches can’t be stormed with e'en a tear f Pray don’t think me over si y when I say this maiden chilly Made me sick, and made me sicker, and to wed me she'd not stoop, O the cruel persecutor! she’s 1c premitre assoluta And the champion queen high kicker of a Broadway ballet troupe. SECOND THOUGHTS, Her lover was false, and she went to the river, But second thoughts made her recoil and shi “Risk the one life L have?” cried she; ‘lov And off she raced home at a gait of 2.20. re plenty !”” WEBSTER REVISED. From our new pocket-dic- tionar: Goose—A bird that is not half as silly as he looks, and that is certainly not responsible for the thousand-and-one stupid things that are written with its quills. Conores: mill where the stones make a fearful clatter, but you never see any flour. A FATAL CONFLICT. Boccs—‘‘ Bah! Here's another of those farcical French duels ! Nobody hurt, as usual.” Jacuey— They don’t always turn out that way. I was present at one that resulted fatally. Both the principals escaped, to be sure, but one of the seconds, an Englishman, was taken from the field dying.” ccs—‘‘ Indeed! What killed him?” Jactey—“ The jabbering over SHE CAUGHT ON. the affair.” Y pai inking knowingly.) Lemon ! without the wink!" Tom, Thar Tired Feeuing vse, Da, Coans APARILLA DON’T SUIT EXACTLY. “come in answer toan advertisement for a carpet shaker !"” “ Have you any reference?" ONE OF THE AFFLICTED. Vouncster (to professional tramp) —''Say, mister, why don't you get a bottle or two of that stuff?" shaking I'shake all day without stopping. CONTINUALLY ON DUTY. Tue Epitor (Aindly) — I'm afraid, Mr. Jokem, that you are burning the midnight oil too steadily. Don’t you think that work in the ime might bring better results ?” Joxen—‘ Bless my soul, sir! if 1 did my work in the day-time when could I tramp round to sell it!” NOT SO TALKATIVE. “Fifty cents, please,” said the hotel clerk to the lady who had been using the telephone. “T thought the charge was only ten,” she replied. “Ye: he returned. But the rate for men, you know.” PLEASANT AND LOVELY. They lived a life All free from strife, And when he came to die He said, * My dear, devoted wife, Just one request make I." “Goon, T hear, Adolphus dear,"” The woman said and sighed; “This quite reminds me of last year. When my fourth husband died.” “Tis this,” he said, With drooping hi (Voice loving, as before), * Please do not wed Till Lam dead, And crépe is on the door.” x... A TIMELY WARNING. “Look a heah, chile! don’ you know your “Well. yes, I've got the ague and when I begin | Uncle Rufusdone git de meloncholy ob de stomach Ls | for foah yars, jes actin’a fool like yous doin?” comicbooks.com