Judge, 1889 · page 15 of 72
Judge — 1889 — page 15: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page collects humorous short pieces typical of Judge magazine's satirical content. Key items: **"At the Opera"**: A romantic poem undercut by a punchline—the speaker gives roses to his date, who immediately throws them at the tenor performer instead. The joke: his expensive gesture (three dollars) is rejected for a stranger, deflating his romantic pretensions. **"Consolation" & "Against His Principles"**: Brief gags about a bankrupt man and a tramp's hygiene, using class-based humor common to the era. **"An Able Assistant"**: A servant girl catches flies to put on flypaper—obvious but presented as clever housekeeping. **"At a Calcutta Reception"**: A reference to India that appears to make an ethnic joke about breeding/heritage, though the exact meaning is unclear without more context. Overall, these represent Judge's blend of romantic satire, working-class humor, and period-specific social commentary aimed at middle-class readers.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
BEST THINGS FROM JUDGE. AT THE OPERA. - EE She sits at my side in the opera box, With the light on her dark sweet face, And hersoft, white neck thro’a gauzy fan, Gleaming out, amid creamy lace. And close to her breast are the roses red That I placed in her hands to-night A message sweet from my hoping heart ther own may read aright. Will I whisper now while the music swells, Of a love that will never tire That will bloom ‘neath her eyes like the roses red, With their leaves, like my heart, Now thetenorsingsand there fallsa hush, 4. While the lights on the stage are dim ; [Till she leans tar out, with her lips aj And her thoughts and her eyes on hi Then she tears from her breast the roses red— My flowers with their perfume swe: The flash of an arm, in its tawny glov And they lay at the tenor’s feet. And, safe in the sheath of her gauzy fan T gla e with a maddened eye, For they cost me three dollars apiece— they did— And she needn't have been so fly. xrvrr &. i - i A CLEAR FIELD. CONSOLATION: F Freer | Tt ‘ espe “How are you getting on in Bestarv (éragically)—“ 1 am your love-making?” inquired ruined—ruined | I can’t pay ten Merritt. cents on the dollar! 1 i E. \Y H ‘i “Very nicely, indeed,” re- Friexpty—‘ Don't cut up so, ! a rat! plied Bjones. ~ dear fellow. Just think how MM | ie i i a much better off you are than ! i 4aae aR taver Mie et peg paronts your creditors.” ft ‘ i SLi 6 ; favor your suit? E “Tam sure of it, Her = h : ‘ i mother now never stays in the AGAINST HIS PRINCIPLES. iM Jai u room with us more than ten Tramp—“ Madame, will you minutes.” kindly allow me to quench my } thirst at yonder well ?” \ i . i NO FLATTERY THERE. ruer's Wire—Why, cer- fj) AN i 1 Bu ge tainly, my good man. And _ jl ; : iy Bostox cra—“UncleGawge, while you're about it, here’s a y piece of soap and a towel to quench a little of that dirt on your face and hands before . s, Emeline; justice with- Swanton sets in AN ABLE ASSISTANT. ey Traap—‘* Thanks, madame, Mistress—“ What are you doing, Bridget?” but I make it a rule never to Brivcer—'Catching the flics, mum, and putting them on It is the Bohemian artist who. quench more than one thing at sure, ain't that what it’s fur?” always brushes re: atime.” ye vee oe AT A CALCUTTA RECEPTION. HE GOT A DEMERIT. | Major McTavisu- Mr. Fitch, I want you to know the rajah of Cawn- Proressor or Cuemistry—“ Gentlemen, I hold in my hand a vial of soda pohr, one of our most e1 ent disciples of Brahma, What chemical shali Icombinewith it to produce a valuable article of commerce? Mx. Fircit (of Minoit)—Proud to meet you, sir! It's th’ best breed Goonspy (taking up —" Br-r-randy ! that ever laid an egg.” comicbooks.com