Judge — 1889 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE PAIL, THE SPONGE AND THE KI-YI; BUYING IN ADVANCE. “TI take this one,” Younghusband, ‘pro agree to exchange it il too small.” tainly, si ainly, ing the ticket off the baby carriage. “If you should need one ot those twin carriages the price is only five ‘dollars extra.” A CRUEL SUGGESTION. Doctor P. had been asked to make one of a party to shoot over some private preserves. It turned out to be one of his unlucky days. “T give you my word,” he at exclaimed, in de- spair, ‘I can’t kill a thing !" “Come, doctor,” suggest- ed his host, “just imagine that you are at the bedside of a patient. The lefthand only rings adorn, And with this wise intent : The right e’er finds in being right Sutlicient ornament. A WISE OPINION, Youxe- nornzr— Doctor, n't seem to be any cation yet of baby cut- ting her teeth, Do you know is the matter ?” <—'* Well, BEST ‘THINGS OR, FROM JUDGE. THE DEMONSTRATION OF EXPANSIVE FORCE. FORCE OF HABIT.” Puotocearner (who has been summoned to pholograph a dying man)—« Now, then, all ready! Wink all you want to, and look pleasant.” THEY NEVER ACHED. Jaccs— “Tobacco cause toothache? Nonsense! I use it constantly, and had a toothache for ye Bactey— Well you must have teeth like iron.” “Not exactly— only celluloid.” A BAD INVESTMENT. Sotomon Levi—‘‘ Vot vos der matter, Isaac? You looks down in der mouth.” Isaac—‘‘I vos the victim of a terrible act of injustice, Solomon. = An__ Irishman comes into my clodings- store and trades me a $25 parrot for a suit of clothes. De clothes cost me 95 cents. I hangs de parrot out by de door and pretty soon along comes an Irish procession. De parrot shouts ‘Shoot the pope!’ Ah! dis was a cruel world, Solomon.” Soromox Levit — “Yes, Isaac, it . Isaac—“Shelp me ‘f it didn’t cost me a hundred tollars to get a new front put in mine store.” DISQUALIFIED. Aunt Tripy—‘‘ Ain’t- ye gwine to de rafful fer de mus fowl, Zeke CHRONIC. U: “No, e been watching you all the evening, old man. no, ma‘am, unless it 1s that a good many children are cutting their teeth just now, — \., BATESBY (who Aas length) —' no gemman wot a What makes you walk that way and perhaps there aren't CADLEY (who hasn't) feally, ol fel’, cawn't help it, ‘pon hon'r cawn't, Been fouhteen razors can | enough teeth to go around. playing tennis all summer ’n had to do it.” paht in dat yere rafful.’ comicbooks.com