Judge — December 28, 1889 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE THE LITTLE RID CHAIR. \ cFINNEGAN hadn't much boodle, I shwear, Rut T knew ay the sorrer down undher it all But his heart was as big an’ as {ree as the air. How his woife she had lift him whin Nelly was shmall ; f He had a shmall gyirl wid a foine curly pate, Fer he dhrank loike a sponge an‘ they'd quarrel, ye moi An’ a voice loike a singin’ canary so shwate. An’ she wint to her dad an’ lift Nelly behind When Chris'mus time come he was throubled an’ vist It braced him up, somehow. fo To know what to buy her to plishure her nixt; An’ niver a dhrop av the crathur he'd take; So afther much scratchin’ an‘ pullin’ ay hair An’ he'd grown sq, wrapt up in her shmoile, T declare, He wint out an’ bought her a little rid chair. “Twas a bushel av love filled that little rid chair ! y's shwate sake, 1 seen him a-comin’ along Fourteenth sthrate ; “ Merry Chris'mus !" he'd call to aich frind he wud mate. He shtopt at the booths where the popcorn was sold, ‘An’ he shtuffed all his pockets as full as they'd hold. ‘The crowds they was laughin’ an’ shovin' along, . Says she, comin’ near, An‘ him hummin’ a bit av an ould Oirish song. Will ye take me back home to me baby, Pat, dear?” An’ holdin’ on toight wid the greatest av care He gripped her hand toight wid no talkin’ To the prisint for Nelly, the little rid chair. An’ T see thim pass on wid the little rid chair “Twas a woman kim up troo the crowd on the sthrate, Wid a shmoile that was Nelly’s, so dimpled an’ shwate, ‘An’ she touched but the arm av his coat as he shtood ; the touch it had burned troo his blood. © WISE GIRL will quarrel with her male friends just at present, even though they may seem to seck the occasion. It is better to conceal one’s wrath than to endure the misery of not scooping in a-man’s month's salary in OV cerna ony gilts from various directions. MONTANA {| SHEEP DIP |i WHAT FATHER CHRISTMAS SAYS. HAT the girl of your heart is too pretty by far through life without you, sir, to go. So determine the matrimonial line is the line that the dear miss'll toc. THAT the presents you got were all very well. But you smile in your wicked as quecr little yarns your companions you tell of the presents you didn’t receive. THAT a man shows his,brains when he gives a toy bank, for odd nickels and dimes, to his son. As a scheme to keep car-fares, etc., on tap it most certainly yanketh the bun. THAT no matter how dry are the streets, how soft the wind’s balm-blowing © pers, grim d or cyclone now greets the eye in illustrated papers. THAT the prettiest maid at the ball, with lips like a cherry or rose, much prefers ten kisses in the hall to-one where the candle-light glows. THAT a yule-tide of snow is the thing to warm up the old or young blood. But the snow this gay season will bring, I fear me, its name will be mud. THAT too many at Christmas forget, and charity lightly adjure. *Heaven can- not keep well in your debt if you look on yourself as the poor. THAT the snow brings the roses once more (at half-a-week’s salary the rose) ; and matinée tickets galore still keep us in thin summer clothes. THar the day after Christmas we feel the holes that our pocket-books hold ; and, though honest, we're willing to steal the girl with the “mountains of = gold.” De WITT STERRY’ a = ; CHECKERS AT SPLIT CANON. WENTBAD HURLINGHAM (the com-puncher, who has moved trice in succession) —"* Whose move is it now Revere Wintiror (promptly A CHRISTMAS RECIPE. and u y with a liberal supply of generosity, k and forbearing love. Simmer gently over a slow fire of forgiveness. good-will and good-fellowship. Put ina dash of cheerfulness and a plenteous sprinkling of smiles, and serve piping hot with your Christmas dinner. AT CHRIS [LoL DEN me rs series Ae Did droope and blushe with modest showe When courtlie beau en powdered hair Led her beneath ye mistictoe. Our modern maids, though just as sweet, Make no display of shrinking fear. They look just good enough to eat ‘And hang around the chandelier. © ¢B'GOSH !” said Uncle Hayseed.as he boarded the Canajoharie special, “these actress folks do beat all! Last year when I come to taown to buy a Christmas present for Abigail the dealer sent me home with a patent Mary Anderson ice-cooler, and this year, b’gosh! if I haven't been and bought a Langtry self-feeder !” THERE IS a misapplied industry among the girls who make gilts for their beaux. It is that which covers a toy rolling-pin with _ BOneess eee plush, paints a forget-me-not on it, and sticks in hooks for keys. an No young man can carry this day-times by the fancy chain, on ac- Maxuerry (a good deal flustered) —'* Madame, I was perfectly willing to hold aE Kis Gane and Cissrettete Aad target ees be i your baby for a moment, but now that he’s swallowed my locket I should like to know Count of his cane and cigarette, And at night he ts apt to be ina whether you want to buy or sell.” forgetful mood and leave his key in the key-hole. comicbooks.com