Judge, 1889-12-28 · page 4 of 16
Judge — December 28, 1889 — page 4: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Judge Magazine Page Analysis This page contains multiple satirical pieces typical of Judge's holiday-season content (circa 1890s based on style). **"A Yule-Tide Plaint"** is a mock-romantic poem where a suitor complains that his beloved, while refusing to formally reject him, withholds affection until Christmas—when she hopes he'll give her gifts. The satire targets both lovesick men and women's mercenary holiday expectations. **"Home is the Best"** lampoons a wife who interrupts her husband's cultural evening (singing Schiller with Miss Cromwell) to remind him he must ferry her across the Brooklyn ferry, reducing romantic pretense to domestic routine. **"Hum of the Court"** offers brief jabs at various public figures: Dom Pedro (possibly a foreign dignitary), the Kaiser (maintaining military readiness despite peace rhetoric), and Stanley (likely Henry Morton Stanley, the explorer, mocked for profiting from his autobiography). **"The Hour-Glass of Fashion"** and **"The Last Sad Blow"** continue with social commentary on contemporary figures and fashionable types. The overall tone mocks romantic delusion, marital dynamics, and the hypocrisy of wealthy/prominent men during the holidays.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A YULE-TIDE PLAINT. OLD drives ye sleetynge wind without As crabbed winter creeps apace, And my poore heart grows chill with doubt As beholde my ladye’s Saints, lend Sis) Couce: simmer roses ‘tpllted, thelr pryde Across her cheek if 1 drewe nigh, looks of love were like to glyde Unbidden from her downeast eye, So sweetly shy. Now, forcéd smiles array her lips When I myself to her addresse ; she doles me out her finger tips Where once two hands were mine to presse With tendernesse. Yette she delays the word of fate ‘That bids me from her presence gro. Why is it she doth hesitate ‘To breathe it when I tire her so Ye world may know HOME IS THE BEST It is because yule toward us wen (ander tertate condielendy: And she who could my soul uplift Miss Cromwett.—"Vou don't know how beautifully your husband intones, Mrs. Hurlingham 2 We've been going over the songs of Schiller together.” Mrs. HURLINGHAM—"* You'll excuse me, but he’s got to intone me over the Brooklyn ferry now It’s eleven o'clock.” . Hefore she turns me off intends ‘To stryke me for a Xmas g With girlishe thrift! HUM OF THE COURT. DO™ PEDRO talks as if he would Tike @ new crown in his stocking, but he is lucky in getting off with the one in his hat. THE KAISER prays earnestly for peace, but meanwhile keeps his powder dry as a prohibition flask in the holiday s WHAT everybody says—*Let no man suffer during these holidays. You go right out and attend to it. We'll join you presently ASHIER SILCOTT would be merry if he could swap his conscience for a nickel; but there are no such transactions in Christmas bargaining. STANLEY gets fifty thousand dollars a year, and has sold his forthcomi book for two hundred thousand dollars. Merry Christmas, Henry! and er say die as long as you get shat salary, SWEE girl who sings that a place in the memory, dear- est, is all that she asks; but if that is all she gets she doesn’t © much for the place. HESE are THE HOUR-GLASS OF FASHION. . = : wey not merry "Oi did, dar-rlin’, fn she must hoya Most immediate Z ny that, heir to the Brit- ish crown, He is in such a bad physical condition that they have begua calling him the prince of ails. E HAVE. no fear that the editor of the Surafogéan will not have a merry Christ- mas, There is a poultry-yard within a block of his house, and he is a fine lock- picker and has a black mask. THE LATE Mr. Ananias is frequently mentioned ia connection with the modern liar, It’s about time to let up on that gentleman, He couldn't hold a candle to the modern liar without scorching elf tO death. Good-will to men and memory, and give Mr, Ananias a rest JAY GOULD subscribes to the world’s-fair documents of both New Vork and St. Louis, but is careful to promise a great deal the most to the city that won't call on him for the money. Still, the two sums look very large to the man of moderate means he PAS? pAb BLOW: ile + aagctinestes Kees EAGAN iA lik Socks ee Lyxn Saucus (the tramp, who has been begging old shoes uudent Christen times heey enough tn Bis pocket to pay the care zig ne sucveseat ail" Cruse We that cobbler Meat got Or © hecessary to cugN some More longest leg-reach I ever felt. comicbooks.com