Judge, 1889-12 · page 9 of 53
Judge — December 1889 — page 9: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three satirical pieces typical of late 19th-century American humor: **"At the Musicale"** mocks pretentious concert culture and likely a specific performer ("Professor Von Woggleski"—appears to be a caricatured foreign musician). The child's innocent question about removing his furs before singing hints at the absurdity of affected sophistication. **"Christmas Morning"** satirizes gift-giving awkwardness. A man receives ill-fitting, impractical presents (oversized shirt-protector, baggy smoking coat, wrong-size slippers, uncomfortable neckties) and must pretend gratitude. The humor lies in the universal experience of receiving useless gifts from well-meaning but clueless relatives. **"His First and Last Commission"** jokes about a monument manufacturer's misunderstanding. The client complained his inscription was "weak" and "shilly-shallying" (wishy-washy), so the manufacturer created something crude and overly strong—the opposite of what was wanted. The punchline "How's that strike yer?" suggests the client will be equally dissatisfied. All three reflect common social frustrations: pretension, holiday obligation, and miscommunication.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
AT THE MUSICALE, Is that man going to sing, mamma?" ‘S.sh, dear ! yes. It's Professor Von Woggleski.” 's o warm here, I should think he'd like to take off his furs before he begins.” CHRISTMAS MORNING. $6 G00D morning, Jack! Do come right in. “And gaze on this—a smoking-coat ; ‘A merry Christmas to you, Indeed a thing of beauty. Oh, yes; I've lots of presents here. Til try it on—you must not laugh— You want to see them, do you? Just from a sense of duty. “ Well, that's a shirt-protector there— “‘ The shoulders baggy, sleeves too long, That queer thing lined with yellow. The collar short two inches! It's gorgeous ; and you think it fine— And now to write her ‘many thanks,’ But now draw near, old fellow. That's where the blamed shoe pinches. “You see that hook (just /iée a girl)— “And that reminds me—slippers here ; Take care; don’t disarrange it, Another vain endeavor. It’s on the awkward side, but I They'll ornament my bureau-drawer, Can have my sister change it. But I can wear them—never! “They're number eight—my foot is nine "— But Jack was disappearing. He'd gone to try his neckties on, And was ‘way out of hearing. LENA GILBERT Brown, HIS FIRST AND LAST COMMISSION. MONUMENT MANUFACTURER—"* That inscription you sent me was — ‘How's that strike yer?” too weak an’ shilly-shallyin’, an’ I've cut one into th’ monnyment that I think’ll suit you better.” comicbooks.com