Judge, 1889-12 · page 23 of 53
Judge — December 1889 — page 23: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page collects brief humorous sketches typical of Judge magazine's social satire: **"The Clown's Plaint"** mocks the assumption that performers are always happy—a clown describes the melancholy behind theatrical entertainment, suggesting performance masks inner suffering. **"Immaterial to Him"** jokes on marital indifference: when a servant can't find a goose for dinner, Mr. Smith dismissively suggests getting "a married goose" instead, implying married life lacks vitality. **"Hardly a Feast"** satirizes stingy hospitality—serving rare wine in tiny glasses to appear generous while being miserly. **"Jimmie"** presents a dark joke about a child's death by skating accident, reducing tragedy to macabre wordplay. **"Knocked Out by Our Language"** mocks foreigners' awkward English; a French count uses "assassinate" instead of "overwhelm," creating unintended violent imagery. **"He Stood It as Long as He Could"** portrays a working-class man (Ichabod) fed up with his partner discussing culture and entertainment—he asserts his own knowledge by dancing badly, satirizing class anxiety and masculine defensiveness.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Lad icaistasanmlahi tan eit ie ni sh CHRISTMAS JUDGE 21 THE CLOWN’S PLAINT. IMMATERIAL TO HIM. Servant— \'ve been everywhere, Mr. Smith, and I can’t find a single goose. Mr, Smith— Well, 1 don’t care anything about its matrimonial condition. Get a married goose then.” ER HAPS you think I'm happy ; Well, I am —when I'm asleep. Perchance you deem me joyful When you sce me skip and leap. Did you ever watch a swallow Dae ees r ‘Turning wing-springs far from . THE USUAL STYLE. earth, Wife—'1 do wish I could have a sealskin sacque like Mrs, Turner's.” And consider that his antics Came from pip and not from mirth ? When I turn a double flip-flap Husband—"\ndecd | all fur —and a yard wide too, I suppose.” It suggests a coming down, ——— While you laugh at that old story HARDLY A FEAST. I can see the whip-lash frown ; And the sullen, calm ring-master, Giles—“ Old Chalmers has rare old wine, but he serves it up in While he adds so to the glee, frightful wall glasses,” Is a very fiend incarnate— Merritt—" should say he did. ‘The glass he gave me last night was 4 (Lowe to him a V.) co only a ghost of a smile.’ WANTED TO SEE THEM. Tree-agent—*Then you think you'll take some of the pear-trees and.the plums and the apples and the maples?” Farmer—'Yes, 1 guess so— and, I say, let me look at your samples of Christmas-trees.” BETTER THAN RESO- LUTIONS. Bjones—* There is one thing to be said in favor of novel-reading.”” “I can't see what it is Bjones—" Why, if the book is anyway interesting you soon turn over a new leaf.” JIMMIE, Nine children did his mother have Until he went to skate ; KNOCKED OUT BY OUR LANGUAGE. Now he has met a watery grave, Mrs. Broapnurst—"* You must stay over for our ball on Thursday night.” ‘And his mother has but eight. Count Dr PARDANELLE—" A-ah, madame, you will assassinate me wiz your kindness !"" HE STOOD IT AS LONG AS HE COULD. Mas. SocBACK (warmingly)—'' You mustn't darnce that way, Ichabod, "T ain’t ettyketty.” . z A Mr. Socpack: n't, ain't it? Well, my pardner ’s been talkin’ ‘bout pictur’s an’ theaytres an’ paytrack balls, an’ other things I don't understan’, an’ now, b’gosh! I'm goin’ t’ show her thet I know someth'n m'self !"" comicbooks.com