Judge, 1889-12 · page 20 of 53
Judge — December 1889 — page 20: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three satirical sketches about Christmas and courtship customs circa early 1900s: **"During the Florida Honeymoon"** mocks newlyweds' financial anxieties—the husband worries about debts while honeymooning. **"Peace on Earth, Good-Will Toward Men"** satirizes domestic conflict through gift-giving. A husband gives his wife modest, somewhat insulting gifts (including a suffrage union membership, suggesting mockery of women's rights). She retaliates by purchasing expensive items (sealskin, diamonds, piano) and deliberately hiding bills in his stocking—inverting traditional gender roles in spending and marital power dynamics. **"Under the Mistletoe"** is a brief joke about romantic expectations around holiday traditions. **"A Detected Bear-Story"** exposes a tall tale: a hunter claims to have killed a bear in Maine autumn, but his companion reveals the lie—bears don't have "hot breath" in fall, as they're hibernating. It mocks exaggerated hunting stories. The overall theme critiques materialism, marital discord, and masculine bravado during the holiday season.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
DURING THE FLORIDA HONEYMOON. Mas. Winpram—" I wonder what they are all doing at home to-day !" Mr. WinDRAM (pensively)— njoying themselves, I hope. thirty-day note, we go home by fre t, C0." “PEACE ON EARTH, GOOD-WILL TOWARD MEN. Mrs. Hwuble— Wave you any idea what you will have for Christ- mas presents ?” Mrs. Goakead—" Well, yes; and I'll just make it hot for the giver too, My husband had a box sent to the house yesterday, and 1 opened it before he came home.” Mrs. Humble—* What was in it, dear?” Mrs. Goahead—" i pair of doeskin dress-trousers, a wooden crown and sceptre, a receipt for one year's membership to the woman's suffrage union, and a card that said, ‘A Merry Christmas to my Darling (To himself.) Vf that father-in-law of mine isn’t at the bank protecting my last Mrs. Humble—" What are you going to do about it?” Mrs, Goahead—" Do? 1 bought a sealskin cloak, a set of diamonds and a-grand piano this afternoon, and I'll put the bills in his stocking Christmas. He can't vent any sarcasm on me with impunity.” UNDER THE MISTLETOE. Miss Autumn—"\ wonder why Charlie asked me for a kiss last night 2” ‘Miss Caustigue—"1 suppose he was foolish enough to imagine you wouldn't give it.” DME an iy A DETECTED BEAR-STORY. Bristow (telling the yarn)—"* It was down in Houlton county, Maine, last fall, He rushed out of a cave in the rocks, and just as I felt his Pot breath in my face, I plunged my trusty knife into his heart, and he fell dead at my feet, —"' What surprises you, old man?” Hancock (examining the pelt)—"* I wonder how in blazes he could have had hot breath last fall.” comicbooks.com