Judge — December 1889 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

CELERITY OF ACQUAINTANCE. Tite nostEss—" T owe you an apology, my dear Miss Drewton. I've been so awfully occupied that I've neglected to present you to the duke of Dosset.”” Miss Drewrox—"t Don't worry yourself in the least, His grace followed me into the conservatory an hour ago, and I promised to marry him." A CURIOUS STORY. HEARD such a curious story Of Santa Claus. Once, so they say, He set out to find what people were Before he took presents their way. “This year I will give but to givers— selves,” With a nod of his head, old Santa Claus said To his band of bright officer-elves. “Go into the homes of the happy, Where pleasure stands page at the door; Watch well how they live and report what they give To the hordes of God's hungering poor. Keep track of each cent and each moment— Yea, tell me each word, too, they use To silver-line clouds for earth’s suffering crowds ; And tell me, too, when they refuse.” So into our homes flew the fairies— Though never a soul of us knew— And with pencil and book they sat by us and took Each action, if false or if true. White marks for the deeds done for others, Black marks for the deeds done for self And nobody hid what he said or he'did, For no one, of course, sees an elf. Well, Christmas came all in its season, And Santa Claus, so Iam told, With a very light pack of small gifts on his back And his reindeer all left in the fold, Set out on a leisurely journey— And finished ere midnight, they say— And there never had been such surprise and cha- grin Before on the breaking of day ind Were ransacked and sought in for gifts that were not in; To those who make presents them- I never see sech a hog. As there was on that bright Christmas morning, When stockings and cupboards and shelves But wasn’t it fun for the elves? And what did / get? You confuse me; T got not one thing, and that's true ; But had I suspected my actions detected I would have had gifts. Wouldn't you? RLLA WHEELER WILCOX, WHEN SOME men give their wives a litle pin money to buy Christmas remembrances for the children, it seems much larger than when they spend twenty dollars raffling to win a two-dollar turkey. A COMPLAINT. Bast, MURFEY—"' Say, fatty, move over a little, will yer? You're crowdin’ me. comicbooks.com