Judge — December 7, 1889 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE “1 SHALL BE SATISFIED.” “And a good man shall be satisfied from himsel F 1 COULD jest be, satisfied I feel like laughin’ till I cried ! I'd be $0 full 0" Joy and bliss 4 ‘most fergit my rheumatis ; 'd caper like a scripter hind - Prov. xiv. 1 i T I ‘spose I ort to be right glad A recollectin’ I hain't dead, Ner even laid up fer repairs, ‘With all my wrinkles an’ gray hairs : Bat then, I'd be so much more glad Fer all the good things I Aev had Ef T could quit a frettin’ "bout The things I've hed to do without ; An‘ I'd be older when I died. Ef I could jest be satisfied. Now there wu old Methusaly — *Bout twenty times as old as me — An’ yit T'll bet Methusaly died Before he wus half satisfied. ‘An’ there wuz that king Solomon Tried ever thing under the sun, An’ even writ some poetry *At's most as good as mine, but he Felt fest like me an’ sighed an’ sighed, “Ef T could jest be satisfied !” "Most ever’ one I know er see Er read about is jest like me ; Fer previous to twenty-one ‘They ‘spose the world wuz made fer fun ; At twenty-five they think they're * some,” Git married an’ that settles um. Henceforth they git a strange idee "At things ain't what they ust to be, An’ you kin hear on ever’ side “Ef T could jest be satisfied ! in jest let out, as the bride, be satisfied. NOT UP IN SCULPTURE. HEN Jones was in Paris last summer visiting the exhibition he was caught by a shower one day in the Rue de Rivoli and ran into the Louvre to wait till it passed over. Wandering into the gallery of ancient sculpt interested, he accosted one of the attendants. “And where, pray, are those celebrated works of art that I see re= ferred to nearly every day in the newspapei “To what does monsieur allude ?” “Why, to the ‘statu quo,’ of course.” and becoming much WOU iff WHY THE DUKE WAS REJECTED. Mt What is that, papa?" He don't look any more like one of us reel pork-packers than Mr. Cue: (of Cincinnati) —" 1 s'pose he’s honest enough, an’ I ain't got nothin’ agin him ‘xcept one thing.” ONE WAY TO MAKE A LIVING. THERE is now a new profession in the gay city on the Seine. In the Rue Denfert-Rocherlau may be read this sign: “Camille Lerois, Imitator of Nightingales for Gardens and Restau- rants. BETWEEN THE ACTS. ‘heatrical manager —“ The play is going splendidly. Your acting hastjust captured the gallery boys.” © Actress (fervently) —“ The gods be praised !” MR. EDISON'S LATEST. EXEMPT FLOOR-WALKER—"* This better than the old scheme, Ma even if T do have to watch the key-board. THE WORST NUISANCE OF THE LOT. THE children were making a greatvracket just outside their father's door, the father being at work in his study. Rushing out at them, he cries in no very gentle tones: What an infernal noise you're g! Who was it shouted the loud- Children (in chorus) —* You, papa.” MRS. JOB. 66 JOB'S patience” is a saying grim— The greatest virtue of his life: Who dressed his boils and tended him But Mrs. Job, his wife? “Aflictions sore long time he bore :* Yet, when his grievous tale was told, We never heard a single word His patient wife extolled. NOT A NEW SENSATION. OVER the walnuts and the wine, “Did you never fight a duel, doc- tor? Never; what satisfaction could 1 derive from killing a fellow-creature ?” “Oh, I see; you're so used to it.” A CONUNDRUM. Johnson —* Sam, why is this play like the guillotine during the French revolu- tion?” Sam —* Give it up.” Johnson "Because there are very 1 shoatelooks like a giraffe.”” short waits between the ax.” comicbooks.com