Judge — December 7, 1889 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

CLUTCHING AT STRAWS. Mas. Cortricnt—"* Helen, you'll par- don me, but I must say that it is time for you to be thinking of a home of your own. You are nearly twenty-five now, and the chances are slipping by.” Hees —"Chances! How can a girl have chances with such an everlastin; teresting brother as Alfred around? Why, he didn't know enough lastnight to come in and catch that Mr. Montague when he kissed m HUM OF THE COURT. N SIAM @ man can gamble away his wife; or rather he could if he Wwe NEY, basso, is said to be proud of the fact that for seven years could find anybody willing to take the bet. he was a brick-layer. Very well; what is to prevent his HH W FLAG of Brazil is modeled after our own; and long may it prouder still by being a brick-layer again? wave o'er the land of the free id ne‘er o'er a slave. HE STORY told by Colonel Goodloe of his assassination makes one CHARGED that all the gicts in Philadelphia turn their toes in, This regret the sudden death of Colonel Swope. Colonel Swope ought to sceiis’ sad, but ie makestinore room on: the:sidewalk; have been permitted to live long enough to be hanged. OHN G. CARLISLE says Cleveland is in the air. must be cold up there. Won't somebody puncture him and let him down? THE EDITOR of the Veiie ms to have a bottle of wine that came from “the Morton rum-shop,” and we have noticed that his edito- rials are more than usually bright lately. F SUGGESTIONS were dollars there would have been about twenty millions raised for the world’s fair in this city long ere It is so much easier to contribute advice than money. DOM PEDRO got $2,500,- 009, and will receive an annual pension of $450,000, ‘Tears for Dom Vedro are a clear waste of water, and whoever is inclined to them should dam his eyes. THE PEOPLE: dined on thanksgiving day as free- ly and enjoyably as if the elections had way. You ¢ body's appetite by any pe ival foolis! way to do is to shoot another bird, Poor fellow! It YEN WILLIAM and Francis Joseph kissed each other Mr. Bis- marck heard the smack and immediately took a glass of beer to drown the sight and sound. [8 THE CROP of a duck killed at Jamestown, N. Y., was found a piece of gold quartz, If the duck had lived it might have become the new goose of the golden eg. CLERGYMAN says it is not wrong to dance if you dance properly. Judg- ing from his subsequent re- marks, the way to dance properly is to sit in the cor- cand twirl your fingers. HEN THE KAISER visited the sultan he slept on a bed of solid silver with gold-embroidered cur tains. The sultan will be hospitable even if all his sub- jects die of starvation. Haretyort- CHARLIE CLARK (ye refusing me after 3 RECENT Chicago sub- scription paper showed several millions, all sub- scribed in a day. ‘The circu- lator raised twenty-five cents ACKNOWLEDGING THE CORN. onthe paper on that very in the morning) —* Darned if | blame that Senninger girl for ay, and Kot it from a ma wos one of those pleasant boarding-house skew mirrors.) who hadn't subscribed at comicbooks.com