Judge — December 7, 1889 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A-WAITINC H, HOW I hate a waiter WY that T hate! \ fellow who = cars nor cyes! ‘Who, when my order placidly Tstate, Looks down on me with airs of great surprise. He brings the steak and then forgets the plate Oh, how T hate a waiter that Thate! 1as neither He brings me coffee and no sugar comes! He never has fine sugar within reach ; His head’s a block, his fingers are all thumbs ; He is a person none could ever teach! You could not beat an idea in his pate— Oh, how T hate a waiter that I hate! Seven times" unbreaded " chops I've told hie plain, Seven times the chops come breaded, or in state ; My Jupce I read all through and then must wait, He tumbles in and then shies back At last! big with his burden, like grim fate Ob, how I hate a waiter that T hate! Livre OocLeyMURKI Mamma !" Mxs. Ustsucact—‘* What is it, dear Lirtie Ooc! No vinegar for crewes, ex ard-boiled, Toast dry as ashes, and I told him " mi Potatoes /ried and beef-steak simply spoiled And Ae was called a waiter fine as silk! I would I could use language quite ornate, For don’t you hate a waiter that you hate? DOT’S HYG _— good deal about the nece: One d A LITTLE THING IN MILLINERY. 6] DON’T see how Mrs. Me * her hat. ‘There is a row of t “Afford it? I womder that she hasn't Her husband is a hotel-waiter, you know ity for fresh air. So many tips on to the y round the brim.” the whole hat made of tips. Dot removed her face | to get a bwef of fwesh OLD CHOCOLATE’S JOCOSERIOUS CHAT, © CLUB brings many an agreement De dog ¢ much doan’ git time toe bite. Measurin’ am useless aftah yo" dun cut yo" timbah, De man w'ose bruddah was hung nebbah fawgits hit. A-many knock on de do’ dat ah s'prised w'en hit opens. De man w'at cotches de mos’ fish gin'ly eats de leas’ fish. W'en dar er one rotten apple in de bin look out fo' de rest. ‘Tie de knot hald an’ yo' er litble toe git mad w'en yo" untie. De tears ob povahty touch de h’aht offener en dey do de wallet. Ma yo" po’ luck dat wudn’ len’ yo" a hoe. Sometimes yo" kin tote ad yo'se'f wile yo" is “de balky mule. De tree ain't toe blame ef hit b’ars an apple now an’ den wid a wum-hole in hit. seTHERE g T ¢ doesn’t do a stroke of work.” low does he do it?” you know.” y y A man weeps at Dose dat lib by igns Dar dy days widout rain. Toe git anoddah cent on a head ob cabbage de huckstah ull lie ‘nuff toe damn a city; an ef yo" look yoll fin’ “dat all bisiness ‘pends mo’ on de quality ob de lie dan hit do on de now an’ den git fooled er cl quality ob de goods. YEARS AGO. E that ragged fellow over there? Well, him in k in his own carriage.” “You don’t mean it “Ves; 1 do. He was a PROTECTION. Mrs, WapLEY —" Whad 's yo" doin’ wiy all mah Woopntky—"* I seen Mis’ Roker’s Joe a buy hisself an’ ‘s gotter ‘n ole grudg I's be immer ‘foun’ me.” 0° Woodb'ry ?" nt'd’ stoah, en ex he doar’ riggin’ a coat ob mail. Help me 1 his nurse was him.” DURING THE PROCESSION. HE LIVED ON HIS MOTHER. s a young fellow who lives on the fat of the land « yaMuRKI—"* Please may I have the wish-bone?” IC PRINCIPLES. OT’S mother was an invalid, and during a visit to relatives in Boston Dot had heard a on after her return Dot's mother found her in an un- comfortably cramped position with her little inquisitive nose glued fast aid her mother curiously,“ what are you trying to do?” enough to reply sniffingly, I'm twyin’ “Well, you see his mother is the fat woman in the dime-museur.” THE MAN WHO ENJOYS HIS HOME. Aht glad to see you, Mac. Feeling pretty well? You s, pretty well. Just got home a few weeks ago from Whacidac, where I went last July for hay-fever.” Jollibtoy—" That so? Must seem awfully good to be home. Me Fidget—"V -e-s. I'm going to Florida next week to spend the winter, you know, Dr. Blarnee sa 1 must take care of these lungs-of mine.” WHICH? ATRIMONY is of a man’s troubles. The end, as we plainly may sce Rut then comes the serious question Which end it may be? TOO ANXIOUS. Stranger —"Doctor. what would you do if | were to be bitten by a snake?” Physician —"\ should order you to the hospital and have you filled to the muzzle with whisky.” Strangér —" Doctor, do you know. of any around here anywhere?” comicbooks.com