Judge — November 30, 1889 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE 1 GIVE THANKS. a friend to whom I owe ten dollars consented in a burst of generosity to cancel the little ‘ause, though I have not the price of a turkey in my pocket, I am still able to buy a ham-sandwich, se my girl is willing to take me for myself alone, and not because I'm a poet with visions of fh before mine eyes. Because, though the clothes I'm wear- ing are not yet paid for, I expect to settle for them within a year or two. Because, though I own not an opera- box, I can see the whole show from the gallery, and in the height of my pride look down upon my fellow-mortals. Because, though I have not money, I have genius. Most people have neither the one nor the other. ANT AD MISSED eNUE: Because, falling down a week ago, I Miss Wexror (a belle of five set only bruised my arm. It might have been a sous) I'm late, I acknowledge, but you x wore will allow me to congratulate you, Mrs, compound comminuted fracture or a case Korton ?" for the coroner. Pv aoriny vaio en Tene era Because the only evil inherited from I'm sure it’s better to be congratulated my great-grandfather is a disposition to late than never,” shirk my debt: What if it had been — whisky or the comic-opera chorus? Because 1 was not born to redeem the human race or make an era in the world’s history. Because I do not believe in prohibition, Christian science, Wagner, lap-dogs, or ice-cream soda. Because there is not a man so poor that he can’t steal a ride on a freight-car, or a woman so poor that she can’t out-dress her neighbor. Because I'm of a happy disposition and glad when dinner-time comes. SENTENCES PASSED BY THE JUDGE. OME. people who are most intolerable to others get along remarkably well with MORNING ON THE CHICAGO LIMITED. themselves—which is much to their credit I am sure. . __SLRERY. PA R (soho forgets that he is in the water berth) The energetic rise or fall on their own responsibility; the indolent take what / ; mean about this road anyway. It's mighty ‘ few of them gives us fur rugs to step on these cold mornin’s the gods send, and if it does not meet with their expectations they have only the gods to blame for it. To“ prepare for death,” according to the old epitaph, is a very excellent thing to do incidentally, but to prepare for life is much the harder as well as the more essential thin To adequately meet the expectations and to fully deserve the confidence of a child, one must have the wisdom of Solomon, the tact of a diplomatist, and the morals of a saint. It is apt to seem a great pity that there should be so much antagonism in the world until one recollects that a perfect uniform- ity of opinion would make a very insipid place of Still to be kind and helpful to those who have revealed them- selves weak and unworthy is to gain a mastery over a host of little things; and to be able to do this without violence to one’s sense of frankness and sincerity is to act with almost a supreme understanding. KATHARINE GROSJRAN, ONLY THE RANK AND FILE. Master TOMMY had stopped with his maternal relative to see the Seventh regiment march down Broad with its magnifi- cent band in full bla “Oh, ain't that just splendid ?” cried Tommy, chock full of en- thusiasm; “but say, mother dear, what are all those fellows good for that march behind and have no musical instruments?” WHERE MAN HAS NO RIVAL. ¢*TTALK about the capability of woman! Why, she is already a dangerous rival of man in many pursuits. Yes; but there is one in which she will never eclipse him.” What is that ? “Trying to say ‘truly rural’ at two o'clock in the marning.” “A LUSUS NATURA $6 AND who mought that be?” asked the new cook, who was being shown through the rooms by the chamber-maid while A CRUEL BLOW. the family were at dinner, as they stopped before a portrait of the Dexwippir—" T wish | weah a pawwot, Miss Wandall.” owner's father taken when he was between twenty-five and thirty. Miss Rasa Nut just think how you'd have to work !" “Why, that's master’s father." Donwippte wwwots don't woik. sitet vaiaeeyt A, ‘ aati Miss Raxvatt—"tNo; but you'd have to—that is if you wanted to learn Lawh’ massy! Well, I never did ‘ear of a father bein to talk.” younger than comicbooks.com