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Judge, 1889-11-30 · page 17 of 18

Judge — November 30, 1889 — page 17: what you’re looking at

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Judge — November 30, 1889 — page 17: Judge, 1889-11-30

What you’re looking at

This page is primarily **advertising and literary content** rather than political satire. The main feature is a humorous poem titled "A Man Who Owns Up" by Eugene Field, a celebrated American humorist of the era. The poem playfully explores the anxiety of turning thirty-nine—a peculiar age that sits awkwardly between youth and middle age, lacking the cultural significance of other milestones like thirty-five or forty. The satire targets **male vanity and age anxiety**. The speaker oscillates between self-pity about aging and eventual acceptance, ultimately celebrating the freedom of this ambiguous life stage. Field's humor relies on the tension between the speaker's complaints and his realization that thirty-nine offers unique advantages. The surrounding advertisements (fountain pens, complexion powder, catarrh remedies, hotels) were typical Judge content. No identifiable political figures or specific contemporary events are referenced—this is social rather than political satire, capturing period anxieties about masculinity and aging.

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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THe AVERAGE Cook sets ‘little store by soup.’ If the family insist upon having it occasionally she makes it under verbal or dumb protest, with the grease on. The oils she conceives to be ‘essential * to strength and nourish. ment, swim in flotillas of globules upon the muddy deeps with the t ren.” This little scrap of accurate description is from an article by Marion Harland on soup-making. She says that we know how to m ke soup. If you care to ask for it by poital or otherwise, we will gladly send the article, which we have print- cd and illustrated. Cingncewny Taree Gbleken Na pernd "Mock Turtle, rato, Gumbo, ‘French Rouilion, Julies ier, Mutton Broth, Vegetable, Beek, #2-Send 0414 conte to help pay exprese and receive a sutuple can, Jour chokes. The Franco-Amcrican Food Co., 42 West Broapway, New Yorx. Mention this paper. CO ‘4 A Double-feed Fountain Pen that Never Fails. CAW’S INK & PEN CO. 157 BROADWAY, N. Y. LADIES WHO VALUE A refined complexion must use *Pozzoni: It produces a soft and beautiful skin. Ely's Cream Balm is iS $1000 to any Man, Woman or Child suffering from CATARRH. Apply Balm into each nostril. ELY BRGS,, 36 Warren St. New Yorks | SEWANTICLES FOR PRICE OF | Seifinkns Pon Pencil STAME mene beasts 8b pate Sas saasiaeps Speyer eeaiemaeet “sey et Aree ren CET. li. LEADING HOTELS. W YORK CITry, “BREV OORT HOUSE, Firtu AVENvE (near Washington square) NEW YORK: 0. B. Tinney, - HOTEL GLENHAM, FIFTH AVENUE (Lotween 2st SEW ORI N. B. Banny, Proprietor. an Plan. HOUSE, Corner Broadway and 20th Street, New York. 1. BRESLIN & BRO., Proprietors. GRAND UNION HOTEL, Orrosits Gaaxp CextraL Depor, 420 8: Roome si any and upwards, “USERAgS to froin Urand Cenveal Depot, free. European Plan. Enroy KEELER'S HOTEL, Wand B® Matonx Lane, Atnany, N. Y. SMITH & PATTEN, Proprietors, JUDGE A MAN WHO OWNS UP. | Oh, hapless day! Oh, wretched day, | That ever { should see ! Alas, the years have sneaked And all is changed but me Had I the power | would remand You to a gloom condign ; But here you've crept upon me, and I=L am thirty-nine! vay, Now, were I thirty-five, I could Assume a flippant guise ; Or, were I forty years, | should Undoubtedly look wise : For forty years are said to bring Sedateness superfine ; But thirty-nine don’t mean a thing ; A bas with thirty-nine! You healthy, hulking girls and Loys, What makes you grow so fast? Oh, I'll survive your lusty noise T'm tough, and bound to last ! No, no; I'm old and withered too; 1 feel my powers decline ; Yet none believes this can be true Of one at thirty-nine. And you, dear girl, with velvet eyes, L wonder what you mean Through all our keen anxieties By keeping sweet sixteen. With your dear love to warm my heart, Wretch were I to repine, I was but jesting at the start, I'm glad I'm thirty-nine ! little children, roar and race As blithely as you can, And, sweetheart, let your tender grace Exalt the day and m: For then these factors I'll engage, ‘All subtly shall combine ‘To make both juvenile and sage ‘The one who is thirty-nine ! Yes, after all 1'm free to say ‘That I rejoice to be Standing as I do to-day “Twixt devil and deep sea; For though my face be dark with care, Or with a grimace shine, Each haply falls unto my share Since Tam thirty-nine ! s passing meet to make good-cheer And lord it like a king, Since only once we catch the year “That doesn’t mean a thing. On, shapes day! Oh, gracious day ! ledge thee in this wine ! Come let'us jouracy on our way A year, good thirty-nine! —Engene Field, THE HOME OF AMERICAN WINES. Ix was recently the food fortune of a representative of this paper to pass a day at Lake Keuka,a picturesque sheet of water In Western New York, which is'a connecting ‘link between Hlammondsport and Pein Van, the clear waters of which Fist the soll of the counties of Steuben, Yates, and Schuyler. In times past he had seen pretty lakes, he had’ also received good Usage and royal hospitality ; but on this occasion he found that thems was’sa shadow tp the ral object, compared en experienced as the guest of the Urbana W Cat of whew wine celiars has frequentty appeared in Sunce of fate, Met at the depot by Judge 2, of Hornell, resident of the company, also Mr. W. W. Allen, treasurer, Mr: S'W. Davis, the time-hovored superintendent ; Mr. A.J. Swit- BL oe cures yrisog ancl sarreniel asleusian caa'a (eer ioried cus, we were soon seated ina sprightly steamer and railing on the bosom of the charming lake. which for twenty-two miles fows between hills burdened with vineyards, ‘The richness of the soil on either side of the lake and a peculiar atmospheric in- fluence here combine to praduce grapes in all the perfection of the luscious fruit, In alk sbme 1gsooo acres are devoted to vine- yards, and the region has become world-famous as the centre of Wine cellars from which come the best and purest and rmcst | scientifcally made American wines. About five miles up the iike fs Heated the Urbana wine cellar. How or why it was ‘amed ‘" Urbana’ is not known, unless because of the urbane Characteristics of the gentlemen who compose. the company. The name certainly fits these gentlemen to. a nicety. The most conscientious care is observed in everything connected with the wine manufacture by this company. and cleanliness | and rigid sanitary rules are everywhere maintained. ‘The bigh | on of the company for Honesty and aruthiuiness i jue ‘an inspection of their cellars.” Under no circumstances lire wines ever sent out until they have reached the proper ma: turity. The special brand of champagne made by the company {s'to well and favorably known to the American public, that we have only to mention the = Gold Seal" to at once claiin recog nition. A choice selection of Catawbas, Ports, and Clarets is also to be found upon the price-lists of the establihment. The Urbana wine cellar is nearly opposite to and within plain view {rom the famous Grove Spring Hotel, and there are frequent ‘opportunities for guests af the hotel (o cross the lake upon a tour of inepection., Reputable partes will find In the genta su- perintendent, Mr. J. W. Davis. a gentleman well versed in the Geticate shades of taste which determine the excellence of these delicious American wines, and will have no cause to complain Of neglect at bis hands.” His splendid personality has per- meated the entire surroundings. NET INCOME. THE NATIONAL % | 6 MORTGAGE AND DEBENTURE CO. BOSTON, MASS. TOPEKA, KAN. Capital and Surplus,$265,000. Loans Negotiated,$5,125,000. Our 78 First Morucages on town or (arm properties, x Debenture Bonds, amply secured, offer the highest consistent with safer by prominent capitalists and business men. seml-anoual interest payable in New York. Call or write for ‘Unequaled for conservatism. Principal and of high-grade investment E, New York Managers, 133 & 137 Broadway, N. Y. LEGS AND ARMS RUBBER FEET AND HANDS. _ iain eee Iie natural ones, ‘were cratied Piteene nace Faas aaa full particulars. Special offering bonds JONES &'FAL we hela restored to forall practical purposes. ‘With'the oid methods of comptics. ted ankle ite could ined tn all parts. {ete tae bee supplied without bre seating themvelves £0 U8, simply Soding ineannromente on copy Te formula which any one ean enaily Ail Out Eminent surgeons amt compe he highisat prizes: ey competitive oxht Higuttormaia, SENT PRER. LL. MARKS, 701 Broadway, New York. spd wean Nopses DEAF 22k ten iy Unsren, comfortable, seif-ad justi HS ican Stadt RC Se Mone nee A NEW NOVEL. ‘A Winning, Wayward Woman.” By FLORA ADAMS DARLING. HE series of romances, BOUND IN PAPER, 25 CENTS. To be obtained of all booksellers or sent by mail on receipt of price by the publishers, The Judge Publishing Company, JUDGE BUILDING, 210 Fifth Avenue, New York City. FLESS & RIDGE, JUDGE PRINTERS, FIFTH AVENUE AND SIXTEENTH STREET, NEW YORK. comicbooks.com