Judge — November 9, 1889 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A LITTLE JEST. labor His comrades caught his spirit, And answering his fun, They turned again to toiling Before the laugh was done. And spite of bone and muscle, And spite of tug and blow, ‘They kept the jest before them And tossed it to and fro. THE men at heav Complained of aching bones, The wickeder with curses, ‘The dolefuller with groans ; Till one of stouter coura Stood up among the rest, To ease his back a moment And make a little jest. Oh, would, among the millions Compt: through the earth, More lips were slow to More lips were swift to mirth ; For none hath better mission ed breast, cartens up his fellows han he of rug: Who With now and then a jest. AN ECHO. +6 ALAS, alas!” sighed a tiny zephyr as he crept into the cave of the winds, “I started out with the high ambition to blow through the whiskers of a great man and I have failed —failed.”” “Why?” inquired Boreas, sternly “Because the man was Bob Ingersoll, and—and he has no whiskel eAAMO Vi es NON-COMBATANTS. RENTO—"*Aha-a-a! [hava your bl--lood. I gotta here first, you serpent Match yer fer pennies, Count Ft Prince Jocker You coma on my beat !" jend, while th’ row’s goin’ on,” JUDGE THEIR CHARACTER ESTABLISHED. TEMPLETON and his wife are not on the best of terms; in fact they quarrel incessantly. “Mr. T. and I,” sweetly: remarked Mrs. Templeton the other day to two lady friends who were calling on her, “think of having Gamboge paint us together for the next academy exhibition.” “Then,” remarked one of her hearers after leaving the house, “they'll certainly have to be hung among the battle-pieces.”” MISDIRECTED ENTHUSIASM. A PARTY had gone one week-day into a church to get a child baptized. While awaiting the arrival of the clergyman the sexton created no little con- sternation by chucking the infant under the chin and thus addressing the person whom he took’ to be the author of its being : “ You should consider your- self lucky, sir, in having a child that so closely resembles you.” The person addressed was the godfather. MONEY. When one is flush And grows a lush We say he is.a blood ; But when he’s bust And has no dust We siy his name is mud. HE KNEW THE RESULT. Jack Spratt—"\ shall come into a fortune next week.” Hank Kerr — Why, your rich uncle isn’t dead, is he?” Jack Spratt—"No; but 1 understand he called in a couple of Christian science healers yesterda} GENEROSITY ITSELF. JONES. though slightly illog- ical, has a heart as big as a cart-wheel. The other day as he was going home he me: a blind beg- gar tapping along the sidewalk with a stick, “Here!” cried Jones, “you'll find these useful when you get home in finding your way up to your room;" and he placed in his hands a box of wax matches he had just bought of a boy around the corner. COMING TO A STANDSTILL, “Te is proposed to build a tower twelve hundred feet high on the site of the world’s exposition in 1892.” —Daily paper. TH—"'How in the name of common- going to spin with that thing hanging on A LESSON IN ARITHMETIC, ISS SUSIE is being put by her mamma through a course in subtraction indicated by such questions as these: “If you have eight apples and give me three how many will be left? If the farmer's wife has twenty chickens and she sells nine,” etc., et Suddenly ceeds to turn the mathematical tables on her parent as follow: . “Now, mamma dear, if I had five eyes put out six how many should I have to sce with?” Susie is seized with’a brilliant idea and pro- d you was to A COLORED VOICE, Friend —" What color are your baby’s ¢ Fond father —"\ don't really know; but | have dis. covered that h TO BOTH. Theatre-manager —" called*this morning, sir, to sce if you would call attention in your Sunday sermon to the demoralizing features of the burlesque show that I am going to run next week.” Minister —"\s it going to be very bad?" Theatre-manage igh, sir, is no name for it.” Minist Well, how much do you want to give me? Business is business.” comicbooks.com