Judge — October 12, 1889 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE Jon RIGHT AFTER ALL. was reading aloud to the family circle a medival romance: Just then, five minutes past twelve sounded from the belfry of the castle.” “But,” criticised Mrs. Jones, “‘no clock could strike tive minutes past twelve. “Oh, yes, it could,” replied the ingenious Jones, “‘if it was five minutes too slow.” cular that you had better take out. DOESN’T CARRY ANY WEIGHT. Fleecy—"\ say, Downy, you have one testimonial letter in your soap cir- I mean the one written by Alexander Obrovitch.” Downy —" What's wrong with that letter?” Fleecy—"There’s nothing wrong with the letter; but I guess you don’t know that Alec is the head of an anarchist-camp.” A CHEERY VOCATION. Miss Pervert —‘‘ I've always heard that the people of Boise City were very joll Mr. Westno—*' You bet your life they are! makes ten dollars a week jest grinnin’ !" Miss Pervert —'* Really?” Mr. WestHo—"' Yes ; really. of our biggest mask-factori Why our mayor In his off time he’s a model in one A TRIFLE TOO ENTHUSIASTIC. T A CHARADE-PARTY. “And my whole,” concludes the leader of the game, “is the name of a precious stone, the first letter of which is M, and”: “Emerald! emerald!" shouts Jones, who is present, not giving any one else, in his excitement at the discovery, a chance to speak. ATTAINMENT. First lady —" Well, there! I have voted on the school-question at last. I have waited years for this. Now I sha’n't be satisfied till I vote for president.” Second lady —" Yes; for whom did you vote?” First lady —" Let me sec—I've forgot.” WHERE IT WAS NEEDED. Young poet—"\ have just written a poem. do with it Friend —* Why don't you send it to Editor Hull?” Young poet —* Does he want it?” + Friend —"Yes; 1 heard Mrs. Hull complain the other day that she didn’t have a bit of paper to start her fires with.” What would you A TOTAL LOSS. Mr. Eakin (the banker) —'* I fergot t' tell yo’, Mistah Peeps, dat dem yer chips wuz celler- loid. Vo" laid yo’ seegar on d’ top ob yo! pile, d’ pile 'xploded, an’ d’ bank declines t assume d’ ‘sponsibil'ty. NO ROUGHNESS INTENDED. Stamford !” —"*You are a self-confessed liar, sir-r-r! and ‘rogue’ and ‘villain’ are written on every lineament of your face.” BrakemaN—‘I don’t see what call you've got to insult a poor feller what's only doin’ his duty.” PASsi —"‘ Bless your heart ! I wasn’t insulting you, I'm the leading man of the ‘ Two Orphans’ road-company, and was just studying over my part a little.” GOOD STAYING QUALITIES. HERE was a ring at the door-vell and the servant brought in a card. “Oh, dear!” exclaimed the lady of the house, “it is that Mrs. Featherstonehaugh. I hope she won't stay as Jong as her name.” HER HAND- MIRROR. OT like the polished steel in jewels set, Wherein fair ladies of old-time romance Beheld their faces like dim ghosts advance, Are you, frail shape of shining glass, and yct Steel were not truer to the gallant debt ‘You and all nature owe to beauty’s glance— To give back all the smiles, nor ever chance To mark the tears that stain, the frowns that fret. My love, with soft devotion, morn and night Tells all her dimples over at your shrine ; Yet take no credit !—'tis herself she sees Alike in you and me! Were aught to blight (Our power to tell ber that her eyes are fine, ‘She'd cast us both aside with cruel ease ! EVA WILDER MC GLASSON. DRESS-PARADE AT THE FORT. She—" Lieutenant Gray, for what purpose is that little square box back of your belt?” Lieutenant Gray—" Oh, it is to carry blank cart- ridges and powder, don’t you know.” She (who has seen the lieutenant leading the ger- man) —“I thought it was to hold a powder-rag.”” comicbooks.com