Judge — October 12, 1889 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ABUSED PHILANTHROPY. PER—"I wouldn't go into Warped Mike's cell, sir, if I were you. He's the terror of the prison. THE CELEBRAT allow fear to over: door." D PRISONER'S PRIEND—"'I never ide my sense of duty. Open the kind." (S06s.) VES'S ALIBI —That he did it, but that he didn’t do it within twenty minutes of the time given by the informer. ‘AME cannot bring immunity of punishment, but it is very rough on little Patti to have a cigarette named after her. WE Jupe from several pictures of prize babies in the Evening World that the prize babies have unhappily not survived. [7 1S NOT too early to begin again the great work of killing off Boulan- ger. Eternal foolishn ODERN SCIE s a great thing, but the electricity that kills four men a week makes misery in far more than that number of families. HE RECENT SEARCH for a Chinese imported woman was very curious. One would think the best search would be for the means to lose her. s the price of the French republic. R. COLUMBUS did a bad thing in discovering America; though, to be frank, we shouldn't think of saying so if there had never been a Private Dalzell. Your MODERN JUDGE thinks that all he lacks to be the pope is the crown and mitre; but your modern lawyer thinks he has those articles already. A CORRESPONDENT tells us that three of a kind beat a pair, what- ever that may mean; but at Saratoga the other day the combination called the big four carried the entire state. 'HE REPORTS about the Hon. Mr. Sullivan's inebriety are too frequent tobe reliable. Some day the honorable gentleman should get sober enough to knock out these miserable slanderers. JOHN BUCKS of Urbana, O., claims that his barn has been struck by lightning four times in six years. Either Bucks or vera has lost in reputation, or Wiggins is a great man, THE GOVERNME) is to forbid some Indians the privilege of the war-dance. This dance always makes the red man fighting mad because throughout it he keeps stepping on his own corns. A WOMAN in Ohio sold a sheep-pelt for thirty cents when it was worth seventy, and her husband went and hanged himself. If she had twenty husbands of that kind she ought to have twenty sheep-pelts to sell, Carratn Kippes—" All's Miss Corroy—"So it is believe,"” PARTY CoMING OUT (fen minutes later) — “‘Dat's a terrible hard case you've got in dat cage, boss; but treat him kind—treat him DODGING THE SUBJECT. rin love and war, you know.” New York and’ Chicago just now, 1 THE PRISONER'S PRIEND (in muffled tones) “Helbp! Burder!! B-police !!!" HUM OF THE COURT. VICKY WOODHULL announces herself in an English paper a candi. date for president of the United States; but the last national election showed that the English were not doing any American voting worth men- tioning. MBS. SNELL of Idaho gave birth the other day to three boys and three girls. Here are two threes of a kind, if our mathematics are correct; and Mr. Snell begins to have apprehension that the good lady will deal the entire pack. THE INVENTOR rarely gets the reward of his ingenuity; and there is a good deal of sympathy for the poor old wretch who killed Gesswein because he generously gave his suicide, as well as his invention, to the man who made that thing inevitable. + ¢\VHAT DOES the world care for dead folks?” asks the editor of the Chicago A/ai?, speaking of George Eliot and some others. Dear sir, it takes first-rate care of their memories, good and bad; and beyond that what should dead folks care for what live folks care for them? THE SILENCE of Mr. Cleveland is too pronounced to go unnoticed. Has that_man gone into the Demo- cratic buttery to surreptitiously. get his fingers in the swect-meats? WHEN CLERK TWOMEY of the common council mentioned his name the other day, an aged bummer remarked, “Thank heaven! I doubted my eyesight and was afraid there was only one.” THEY TELL of a lady in Carlisle, N. J., who didn’t borrow anything of a neighbor in thirty-four years of married life. She must have had much trouble, but she probably borrowed that of her husband. A WOMAN in Massachusetts sued for divorce because she found a strange hair on her husband's coat; but the man proved that the hair might have grown there, and she had no proof as to the several that had appar- ently grown in the butter. THE WORST THING that can be said of Sam Cox is. that nobody has a word against him or his memory. Men of positive force have enemies that are frequently an honor to them. Still, Mr. Cox isall right now. That isa firs rate reputation to go to heaven with, comicbooks.com