Judge — September 21, 1889 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

O' Of torment intense, I! rough, prickly calyx “Tis your season-of-war to begin, You break your light grip On the stalk to incense, And horrid anathemas win, If T go for a stroll With Eileen through the lane Tam sure to find you awake ; fou contrive To inflict rasping pain Is enough to make cavaliers quake, On a ride ‘cross the moor Or a run through the field, You are happy if you can just stick To the tail of my horse, Or the free-flowing mane, And induce my wild charger to kick. You are nearly as bad, Though not quite, I confess, As your relative—worked for a grudge, T mean the old burr ‘That is used as a dress For some jokes that are sent to the Jur. HAFIZ TO HIS LOVED ONE. HERE do I write thee, my best beloved Aga, on parchment paper, scented with the latest Parisian extract, imported, three bottles per shekel. Sibylla, the scold, looketh over my shoulder and asketh me to whom I am writing these love-freighted words. And I tell her thou art a prince's daughter. And what if thou art a common Turk only? Ca thou not chew spices, and play the tam-tam like any other daughter of Eve? Praise be to Allah! My casement is lonely without thee, my ownliest Aga. The moon of moons is liquescent, the bulbuls are silent, and thick are the shadows, be- cause of thy absence. Ah, and when I think of thy spider-waist, thy drag- on-charming eyes, thy coppery complexion, and thy yellow-sandaled feet, no violet-eyed girly from the next block hath power to console me. Praise be to Allah! But thou wilt write me in double-distilled tones of milk and honey —reams and reams of parchment, cocoa-colored ink, and sealed with thy waxen crest, And O, my precious Aga, when thou comest unto me radiant with the smiles of the morning, and thy with the aroma of sorghum, we'll double-discount the origi- nal paradise, and set up scenery that, for all-round and un- adulterated — scrumptiousness, will be beyond the invention of even the champion liar of the age. The very thought maketh the cigar fall from my mouth and my quill from my passion- ate fingers, Ta-tah, Aga, and praise be to Allah. f me ae CONTRASTS. OME from the club he comes, the hour is late And finds his wife awaiting, stern as fate. How true to him the poet’s words ap- “From gay to grave, from lively to . re." th’ day. THOSE RETAIL SOLDIERS. LinUTENANT BRANE—" Where are you going, number four ?” UMRER FOUR—"* [ thought you jest gave th’ order t’ close up, so I was goin’ fer HIS QUALIFICATIONS, Stranger (to, hotel-proprietor) —" Have you a v: waiters Hotel-proprictor —" Well, 1 don’t know. place for a man of fine address like you. ence in waiting?” Stranger —* Wall, 1 should say so, I waited thirteen years to marry a girl, and last week she married another fellow.” THE ONLY PEACE-DISTURBER. Country cousin —" shouldn't think you'd like it, living so near the railroad track. Don't the cars keep you awake?” City cousin —"No;, we get used to the rumble of the trains. The only thing that disturbs us is when a Cincinnati man snores by in a sleeping-car.” cy among your I suppose I might make a Have you ever had any experi- HOW HE GOT THERE. +S WIMMINC said the youth, with the tradi- tionary proud air of conscious rectitude inherited from a long line of similar ancestors; “swimming? Do / look like one who'd go swimming when he's told not to? But when { try again to save your Flossy from a crowd of cruel, wicked boys, and get doused myself by the biggest one, I think you'll be aware of it.” And with a grieved, Back- bay air of injured innocence he drew his mother's skye terrier from behind him and placed her on the best rug, all drip- ping from the wash-tub, in which he had astutely plunged, her, murmuring as he did so, “One more victim of circum- stantial evidence.” comicbooks.com